


The Painted Veil

by Vilbern



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 25,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26473030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vilbern/pseuds/Vilbern
Summary: A cold husband. A neglected wife. A marriage tested by fate and love lost. An adaptation of the novel of the same name by W. Somerset Maugham
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/Sesshoumaru
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

He woke up from the afternoon slumber when she gave a startled cry.

"What's the matter?" - he asked

In the darkness of the shuttered room, he could see the terror in those blue eyes.

-"Somebody just tried to open the door"

-"Maybe it was the Amah, or one of the boys"

-"They know better than to disturb me on my afternoon nap"

"-Then who else could have been?"

"Sesshomaru" she whispered, her lips trembling.

She pointed at the shoes, and the rest of his clothes that littered the floor. In a hurry, he struggled to put his pants on, while she quickly wrapped a kimono over her naked figure and struggled to comb her curls in a semblance of order. She handed him his coat.

"How should I get out?" - he whispered.

"Wait and let me see if it's alright. Where is your hat?"

"I left in it in the drawing room"

"Are you serious? Oh my God, what if Sesshomaru saw it?" -she whispered furiously.

"It can't possibly be him. Didn't you tell me that he does not leave the laboratory until five?".

She was trembling and frantic, and it dawned on him how this liaison was nothing but a terrible and utterly foolish idea. She was beautiful and sweet, but impulsive and prone to outbursts - a quality that made her an impressive lay, but completely useless in a crisis like the one at hand. The room that just an hour ago was filled with their pants and moans, had suddenly gained an eerie and silent quality. Drawing a breath to calm himself, he quickly lost his cool when both set of eyes looked at the crystal knob of the door slowly turning it open. She was about to scream, an impulse that he quickly dampened by putting his hand on her mouth.

Silence. She snuggled against him, and silently and suddenly as it had happened, the doorknob slowly turned to its normal position, followed by the slow thump of steps going through the hallway and down the stairs. She was white as a sheet, and crying silently, sobs only muffled by his hand.

"For God's sake don't do that"- he shushed -"it is only a one-in-a hundred chance that it was your husband. Does he ever come at this time of the day?"

-"Never"

\- "I am sure it was the Amah. Have a little faith, Kagome, after all, what kind of husband sees a strange hat in the drawing room and the wife's room locked without creating some sort of a row?. Only a servant would turn the knob in such a way".

Kagome chuckled among her sobs, and relaxed in the arms of her lover. Feeling more like herself, she said "Even if it was just the Amah, it certainly was not pleasant". Kissing him on the lips, she carefully opened the door and looked down the hallway, down the stairs, all the way to the front door. Relieved to see no sign of her husband, she hurried back into her room and kissed the man on the lips.

"Nobody" - she breathed.

"Didn't I tell you to have a little faith?"

"Silly man! Dress up and wait for me in the drawing room, after all, we have to maintain appearances" - after pushing him affectionately out of the door, he did as she bade.


	2. The Painted Veil

Seeing her lover leave from the verandah of her bedroom, Kagome could not help but to feel that mixture of elation, nerves and contentment that displayed itself in that familiar pressure in her chest and a heavy weight in the pit of her stomach. Sipping on her brandy, she could only look at the distance, where the blue sea of the harbor only reminded of the azure gaze of her love.

Since that fateful meeting in the British embassy, she had tempted fate, forsake her beliefs and both of their marriages in an affair that only left her starved for more. What started in small flirtations here and there on expat events, eventually turned into a passionate rendezvous in a small, humid room on top of a Chinese medicine shop, where the suspect mattress placed on a dark, wooden cot did little to dampen the sounds of their lovemaking. She knew it was stupid to agree to meet him at her house, to love him in the same bed where her unsuspecting husband slept placidly every night, but Kagome was a woman in love, and with that, whatever little sense she had went out the window when she thought about Falkas Kouga.

Meeting him was the only good thing that came out of her husband's horrid assignment in Hong Kong. She hated the city: it was humid, unhealthy and full of expats that looked down at her, the wife of a mid-ranking researcher at the Royal Society of Medicine. Of course, during the first months of his assignment, they were invited to parties at a myriad of local societies, only to be politely ignored when the lethal combination of her husband's aloofness and their lack of position or peerage made the invitations trickle to a stop. At home, Kagome had been full of gaiety and energy. But after three years of marriage, homesickness and loneliness had filled her heart with despair.

"I am so bored!" - she remembered complaining - "Back at home we would not lack for invitations for tea, but here, there is no one that bothers talking to you for more than five minutes"

"Don't let that bother you, it is of no consequence" - he muttered from behind his newspaper - "Besides, the man of science is after all, a social pariah. Don't let it vex you".

How wrong he was!. In a society where one was ranked on the prestige of their connections, on the number of servants in their homes, and the quality of the plates in their china set, the home of the Nakamuras, while comfortable and properly appointed, was a drab affair. When the excitement that the arrival of the attractive couple died down in the small, but secluded society, what was left for all to see was a silent recluse of a husband, a beautiful, but too exotic wife, and a home in which one would be lucky to be served a decent cup of tea. For a woman such as Kagome Nakamura, said society was stifling, and she often found nothing better to do than to play bridge with the few older ladies that still sought out her company, women eager to pontificate about her domestic affairs, from how to better discipline the servant boys to how to better care of her saint of a husband, who more often than not, gave his books and his work far more attention than to his own wife. A year into his assignment, even her aloof husband could see that Kagome was a shadow of her old self, silent when not despondent about his hours and the lack of society, and it was then when he brought her to the annual celebration for the Lunar New year at the British embassy.

She remembered like it was yesterday the night in which she became entranced with his blue eyes, so similar to her own. How his gloved hand so delicately touched her own, and how warm his lips felt against her skin when he kissed her hand in greeting. Little did she know that Falkas Kouga, besides his charm and business acumen, had a particular ability to detect the love-starved, the lonely, and the naive, and like the proverbial moth to the flame, Kagome could do little to resist the allure of the man, so assured and confident, that graced her first with his undivided attention, and later with the pleasures of love.

If only both of them were free! It was evident that Falkas was as unhappy in his marriage as she was, even though he was too much of a gentleman to badmouth his wife in front of Kagome. She was a tall and stout woman, with red hair and green eyes than in her youth must have been pretty, but after two boys, and a life in the colonies, little remained of the glow of her maidenhood. After inquiring delicately among her acquaintances about her, it was clear that she was well liked and connected, a woman by all considered an excellent mother and a capable hostess, which for her husband, the commercial attache of the Hungarian embassy, it certainly came in handy. But Kagome did not like her: she felt that even after all the expected pleasantries, Ms. Kouga kept her at a distance, and Kagome felt under that sharp jade gaze, that she was found nothing but an interloper.


	3. The Painted Veil

Her thoughts went back to the mysterious door knob. It must have been one of the servants - after all, it was evident that they knew well about the affair, but if something had to be said about any Chinese servant, is that they were extremely discreet. Still, she remembered the terror she felt when she saw the crystal knob slowly turn. It would be wise to not take risks like that again. The shop was a sordid, but safe affair, where she could love Kouga as he deserved, even if she despised the lecherous looks that the shop owner gave her every time he opened the door to her. Sighting, she was on her way to the drawing room when she saw a familiar bouquet of red and white flowers in the entry console, wilting in the late afternoon sun.

She quickly called the servant boy -"who brought the flowers and when?"

-"Master brought them around lunch time. I will find prepare a vase for them" -

So it had been Sesshomaru. She quickly took the receiver and called the offices of the Hungarian embassy. She told Kouga what had happened, after which came a pregnant pause:

"What shall I do" - she asked.

"I'm in the middle of an important meeting. Unfortunately I cannot be of assistance at this moment. Please call my secretary to schedule an appointment".

She put down the phone. Kagome understood that he was not alone, and therefore, he could not talk freely. Sitting down, she quickly tried to put her mind in order. It was possible that he just left the flowers and took his leave without noticing the hat on the settee, but then how come he did not enter her room when he turned the knob?. He always made a point of giving gifts in person. But maybe he thought she was asleep and did not want to disturb her.

The pressure on her chest slowly increased, and she could only think about how much of a fool she had been. But then she thought of her Kouga, and how it was worth it. He said that he loved her, that he would love to be with her forever, and well, maybe it was a blessing in disguise. She doubted that Sesshomaru would care much about her affair, after all, besides his sporadic caresses, the man paid her little notice.


	4. The Painted Veil

Six months after her marriage, Kagome knew it had been a mistake. But it had been her mother's fault more than hers.

A widow of meager resources but a shrewd nature, Ms. Higurashi knew that the best chance for her daughter to avoid a life of impending poverty was to capitalize in her beautiful eyes and what remained of their good name and her late father's fortune. It was a difficult feat to achieve so in their native Japan: as the illegitimate daughter of a wealthy, English _gaijin_ , Kagome Higurashi would have little luck with a traditional omiai; the gaiety and outspokenness that were encouraged by her late father frowned upon by the average Japanese man. The best chance for her to make a good match, laid in England, where Kagome's paternal aunt had invited them to settle in a simple flat in the outskirts of Kensington, as her father's will had instructed. At eighteen, Kagome and her mother arrived in London, with three trunks filled with what remained of their former trappings of Japanese elegance, expensive family kimonos that soon proved completely inadequate for the cold and damp English weather.

Despite Ms. Higurashi's best efforts, Kagome's debut in English society was a middling success. Even though the society pages often rhapsodized about her exotic beauty and uncommon eyes, it seemed that she only attracted the attention of older, wealthy and very married men, eager to make a mistress out of such an exotic beauty. By the time Ms. Higurashi understood the danger, Kagome's reputation was already in tatters, even if she was as much as a virgin as the day she was born. At twenty-one, long were the times in which shy, but penniless suitors declared her undying love. Now, only wealthy patrons sent expensive gifts and invitations to the now desperate Ms. Higurashi, in an effort to ingratiate themselves with the mother - and lay in bed with the oblivious daughter.

Shielded by the initial barrier of language and culture, Kagome quickly welcomed participating in the society that surrounded her, so different than the one she experienced in Japan. It was full of beautiful people, amazing music and fun traditions, like the ponies and the dances that required short dresses and even shorter hair. Despite her mother's admonishments, often telling her that she needed to set her eyes on a wealthy man and settle down, Kagome was a romantic at heart - the result of too many pulp novels and too little life experience. While her mother worried that she had at most, two seasons before her beauty started to fade and it would be more difficult to compete with a younger crop of women for a narrowing pool of available men, at twenty-one, Kagome often spent her days playing cards, reading romantic novels, drinking tea in the company of flighty acquaintances or practicing the koto as she did in her native Japan.

Desperate, Ms. Higurashi looked at the professional class, a place where the rumors surrounding her beautiful but naive daughter had still not set foot. It helped that in an effort of the Japanese government to train their brightest men in western technology and science, a young crop of Japanese students had recently made the rounds at Oxford and Cambridge -westernized men that could turn a blind eye to the mixed heritage and strange manner of her only daughter.

It was in one of those student dances that Kagome finally took notice of him. She thought that she had seen him in a few events of the Japanese embassy, but after their engagement he had told her that he had first seen her at a friend's party in Barnsbury. She certainly had been struck with his beauty, with short, cropped silver hair, delicate elfin features, and a pair of golden eyes whose rarity matched her own. But their first attempts at conversation with him were nothing but a disappointment, monosyllabic responses that bordered on being rude, and if she danced with him it was because it was her nature to be polite and kind, and would dance with anyone that asked her, not because she found him appealing, despite his obvious beauty. When Kagome pointedly remarked that since they had danced at least a dozen times, it was about time she knew his name, he looked at her like he had been struck.

-"Don't you know it? But we have been introduced"

-"Oh, you know how it is, with the music and chatter it makes everything sound like a mumble. I am sure you have no idea of what mine is", she quickly retorted.

He looked at her, with a grave face that bordered on stern, but his voice, deep and polite, was kind:

"Of course I know it " "Are you curious to know mine?" - he countered

"A lady would never tell"

"Have you thought about asking someone my name was?".

At this point, she was fairly amused, and wondered why he thought she would be interested, after all, if she remembered correctly, this had been the longest they had conversed. But since she was intrigued, she asked him "what is your name then?"

"Sesshomaru Nakamura"

She did not know why he went to the dances, as it was evident that he was not a good dancer at all, and he seemed to know very few people. For the most part he remained silently standing against a wall, looking at everything with boredom and something that almost resembled contempt. For a moment she thought that maybe he was interested in her, but after three seasons, she knew better than to build such expectations. But she gave Nakamura a little bit more of her attention. He certainly did not behave as most of the men of her acquaintance: his manner was serious and aloof, stern and reserved. He spoke very little about himself, and had a hard time talking with her. He was rather introverted, listening silently to her conversation without feeling it necessary to add to it, a handsome and silent shadow that followed her at a distance. But it was clear to Kagome that he was not stupid. When he spoke, his baritone voice was assured and intelligent, and broke little room for arguments.

The following Sunday, he appeared at the door of her flat in Kensington, where her mother had made a simple afternoon tea. Kagome was surprised to see him there, with his usual navy suit and a bouquet of white and red roses that left little doubt of his intentions. He made polite talk with Ms. Higurashi, and after her inquiries, Kagome learned that he was a medical doctor, more precisely, a bacteriologist (which she was not sure what it entailed), that he was stationed in the East, and was in London as part of his postdoctoral training.

While the young conversed, Ms. Higurashi took note of the man. He was certainly handsome and intelligent, but that was all he had going for him. His cuffed shoes, though polished, showed signs of being old and mended, and it was clear that he only had a good suit on rotation, as it was evident by the wear and tear along his necktie and cuffs. Nevertheless, his position as a doctor at the Royal Society of Medicine seemed promising, and though it was a far cry from the baronet or merchant that she had hoped for her only daughter, the reality is that bringing Kagome to England did not improve her prospects, but instead, had put her at risk of becoming solely the plaything of a wealthy man. And Ms. Higurashi - well versed on the sacrifices that entailed - wanted a different fate for her only daughter.

After an hour, Sesshomaru said his goodbyes and expressed his interest in seeing her again. As soon as the door closed, Kagome turned to her mother, miffed at her interference "Did you ask him to come here?".

"Yes, Kagome. Mr. Nakamura called and said that he had met you at various dances, and that he was interested in knowing you better, of course, while being chaperoned by your mother. I told him we always have formal tea on Sundays. Do you know if he is in love with you?"

"I have no idea mother, but frankly I would not marry him even if he were. He is nothing but a cold fish! You have no right to interfere in my affairs!" Kagome sharply retorted.

Narrowing her eyes, Ms. Higurashi slapped her hard across the face. "So beautiful, but so stupid. Do you know that we are utterly broke?. I have spent all my savings in all your parties and your dresses, and what do we have to show for it? Nothing. Nothing at all. We depend on the mercy of others to put food on the table and a roof on our heads, and here you are, thinking that you have all the time in the world, when you are almost an old maid".

Kagome, in a panic, married Sesshomaru Nakamura as soon as she had a chance.


	5. The Painted Veil

Now said man was sitting quietly in front of her, staring silently at the window while nursing his evening cordial of port, the opened shutters allowing the evening breeze to cool the passions of the day. Dinner had been a quiet affair, as it always was, but Kagome could not help but feel the tension in the air, one that manifested itself in the rictus of his lips and haughtiness of his gaze.

She had tried to gauge her husband, first by thanking him for the flowers, secondly by asking him about his day. Neither was a common occurrence - after three years of marriage, most of their evenings passed in silence, playing bridge or him reading while she played the koto of her youth, a polite detente in their domestic war. Never a chatterbox, conversation with Sesshomaru had dwindled to practical affairs - had the boy brought his parcels from the post office? Had the cook cheated her again with the grocery bill? Questions that in Kagome's mind, only served him to prove her incompetence: she knew her husband thought her too trusting of the servants and profligate with his money, the result of being raised like a spoiled brat in a rich man's home.

But tonight she gave an olive branch, only to be given a few words in acknowledgment. Neither of them ate much during supper, both of their stomachs filled with the unsaid. Resting on the settee of the drawing room, she pretended to read while looking at the severe facade of her husband, looking for cracks in his countenance.

To see if he knew.

But even after three years of marriage , her husband remained the same enigma, and nothing in his countenance gave way to an answer. It was something that she always found so unnerving and off-putting about him, to be looked like the organisms that her husband looked at for a living, with the same dispassionate detachment one gives to a bug. It took Kouga to be seen differently, like a person, one worth showing anything other than indifference. Thinking about Falkas only made her miss him more, to be in his arms whispering sweet nothings in his ears, while he called her " _his woman_ " with a passion she had never known before, instead of a small cramped room with her husband, ignoring each other as they had been doing for a good part of the last year, the uncomfortable tension wrapping against each one of them like a mantle of lead.

Tired and stressed, she motioned to retire for the night, and bade him goodnites. Half-way on the stairs, she jumped when she heard the baritone voice of her husband coldly say: "I will join you later after a bath".

Kagome understood the veiled meaning of that innocent statement. _'I will bathe so we can have sex_ '. Though she disliked being touched by him, she could not help but sigh in relief -if her husband wanted to love her, that sure meant that he did not know, and her secret was safe. -"I will wait for you then", she softly answered.

Half an hour later, Sesshomaru was in her room, wearing his white pajamas, with an faraway look on his face. She turned off the light as was their custom, but instead of meeting his usual uncertain and shy caresses, ones that little resembled the man that lived with her throughout the day; she faced a brusque and cold man, one that quickly lifted her nightgown and put her on her belly, unable to look at those blue eyes that had always haunted him. When he breached her roughly and without contemplation, Kagome could barely contain her fears: it was clear to her then, that he certainly did know.


	6. The Painted Veil

The morning sun had long filtered through the closed shutters, but Kagome had pretended to sleep until Sesshomaru left the bed and prepared for his day at work. Throughout the night, her mind raged restlessly while her body remained still, dread filling every inch of her bones. She dithered between terror and elation: as soon and she wondered about the marvelous possibility of creating a life with Falkas, she was frightened of her husband's reaction. Would he rant? Would he add a layer of ice to his already frosty demeanor? Would he, God forbid, even strike her?

Dreading to face the day, she pretended to sleep until eleven, hoping to cocoon herself in the safety of her bed, like an adulterous pupa hiding from the inevitable attack of an enraged sparrow. Sure that her husband was long gone, after tiffin she went down to the dining room to ask the Amah to fix her a small meal, only to discover that her husband was still home, reading a newspaper in the sitting room. But just as she was trying to pretend not to have seen him and headed to the small dining room to avoid him, she could hear his low voice, asking her to come join him.

She had not even finished sitting on the sofa when he abruptly declared;

"There is an outbreak of Cholera in the Hunan region. I have volunteered my services to the Royal Society to address the situation"

Kagome was stunned: "My God, Sesshomaru. Are you sure? isn't that terribly dangerous?" she quickly added, suddenly worried about him. Despite their differences, she did not want him to be harmed.

"Dreadfully so" - he said, impassively - "Instruct Ling to pack our trunks, we are leaving in six days".

Kagome was stunned "You can't be serious Sesshomaru, that is madness!. You cannot expect me to go to the middle of a pandemic!. That is no place for a woman"

Sesshomaru sat still, and for the first time he looked her squarely in the face "Is it madness to expect my wife to love and comfort me in my time of need?", he said with an unreadable smirk "there is no discussion, we are leaving before the end of this week".

"That is suicide, and you know it, Sesshomaru. You can't make me go. I refuse to do so!" Kagome angrily retorted, leaving her chair to head back to her room, appetite suddenly gone. Before she could leave the room, he heard the voice of her husband, cold and sharp as ice:

"If you are not at the train station at 3:00 PM this coming Friday, I will file for divorce you for adultery, and will name Falkas Kouga as co-respondent" - he said, calmly leaving his seat, and grabbing the coat of his suit - "it is only right, after all, that Mrs. Kouga learns that her husband is associating with a common whore".

'So this is it' Kagome thought, and though she understood Sesshomaru's anger, she could not help to take umbrage of his words "A whore is one that does not love, that does not care. Something that you will never understand. Falkas and I love each other, we care about each other deeply..." - she paused, eyes quickly brimming with tears "you call me a whore, because you are angry, but you know well that we are not happy. Divorce me quietly, and let me start over. I know that is a lot to ask, but we can correct this mistake we started three years ago"

Sesshomaru was impassive, but his voice was dripping in sarcasm "Of course, Kagome, who am I to get in the way of true love?. Let's agree to something. Talk to your lover, and if he agrees to divorce Ms. Ayame to marry you, I will divorce you without a scandal". He finished putting on his hat "but if he doesn't, you better be on that train platform". And with that, he made his leave.

Kagome sat, initially too overwhelmed for words. But after a while, a small smile formed in her face. Grabbing her coat and her hat, she asked the boy to fetch her a cab. She was given a chance at freedom, and Kagome was going to take it to be with the man she loved.


	7. The Painted Veil

It was the call of the cicadas that woke her from her slumber, a cacophony of life brought to life by the recent rain. Far behind where the dirt and crowds of Hong Kong - now vast expanses of rice fields went on as far as their eyes could see, green and fresh, filled with birds feasting on the bounty given by the recent storm.

Despite the beauty of the scenery, Kagome could not appreciate it. Far from it. The heat and humidity made her dress cling to her body, ripe with sweat, while the swing of the palanquin was unbearable, giving her motion sickness and a headache. But more than the physical discomfort, it was her heartbreak that made her face blotchy and lit her eyes on fire.

After nine days of grueling travel, they were supposed to arrive in Paibi before nightfall. It had been a fortnight of hard travel, first by train and then by foot, since that fateful afternoon in which she realized that her dreams of love were nothing but an illusion. She still remembered Koga's face when he saw her arrive at his office, a mixture of shame and embarrassment than in her naivety she had initially mistook for surprise. Taking her by the elbow, he quickly locked them in his study, far away from prying eyes, and when he turned to see her, his eyes betrayed clear signs of anger.

It did not matter to him that they finally had a chance to be together, to be his woman as he greedily professed in their afternoons of love, when damp with sweat he filled the room with bombastic promises and pants while making love. A sob choked on Kagome's throat when she remembered his voice, dismissive and business-like, as if she was nothing but one of his aides: ' _Kagome, dear, this has been lovely - but you know I cannot leave my wife'._ It did not matter to him that Sesshomaru had given her what amounted to a death sentence, or that she would be leaving for good and that they would not see each other ever again ' _Don't be overly dramatic dear, it does not suit you. I am sure you will be fine. Both of you will get over this tiff'_. Quickly calling his secretary, he dismissed her as if she were one of the servants, and made her leave the embassy through the back door, not even bothering to call her a cab to return home.

Sesshomaru found her in her room, crying softly on the mattress, dark hair splayed on the white sheets. When she saw his cold amber eyes, she could not help but seethe: ' _you knew he was going to leave me, you just wanted to break my heart'._ With a smirk of amusement in his delicate face, he said ' _we are leaving this Friday at 2:00. Be ready',_ before leaving to his room _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting my first seven chapters in this amazing website. I am a sucker for a review, so if you like it, comment galore!


	8. The Painted Veil

The cries of the mourners told him that soon they would be arriving at their destination. From his high chair, he could see the shrouded cadavers, almost a dozen of them, being carried by the masses, to what appeared to be a temple at the top of the hill. ' _If they washed and touched the cadavers, they will be sick in a few days and dead in a week'_ he thought, melancholically.

They were by all means, dead men and women walking, praying to a merciless God for a reprieve that would never come. As a bacteriologist, he knew cholera, at least theoretically. _Vibrio cholerae_ \- a disease that just five years ago had killed over half a million people in Russia had now reached this distant corner of China, making widows and orphans at an astounding rate. For the last two days, he had seen signs of the disease on the road: homes abandoned, the constant smell of incense, makeshift graves littering the countryside. " _At least I have not seen open mass graves'_ \- a sign that the epidemic had not reached a point in which there were no healthy people left to bury the dead.

Sesshomaru knew that having an unfaithful wife paled in comparison to the devastation at his wake, but his heart ached as if it were scorched earth. He still remembered her callous words: ' _you just wanted to break my heart'._ What had she done, but to tear his out of his chest? With her never-ending tears for her worthless lover, by her eagerness to toss him like an old rag, like the spoiled brat that she was. To her, he was nothing but a mistake to be corrected, to be traded up for a richer and more fanciful version of the colonialist overlords that were the bane of his existence - always demanding deference without earning it, loyalty without giving it, and commitment when they could not be asked to provide but the minimum necessary for the maintenance of his lab. For a man of such immense pride, her rejection hurt like a stab wound - what had he done, but tried to please her, and love her as best as he could?

For a man of science such as Sesshomaru, it was clear that this was his own damn fault. He knew that she was silly and spoiled, her upbringing completely unsuitable for a man of his knowledge and station. But he was entranced by her charm and her beauty, by her easy laugh and her blue eyes, and for the first time in his life, he wanted to seize something just for himself. His life had been one full of duty: from a young age he had to care for his consumptive father, only to be left in charge of his young brother when he was just seventeen years old. After his father's death, he only knew debts, toil and hunger - only the so-called generosity of Mr. Totosai allowed him to have a place to sleep and a chance to present his exams, but only after working ten-hour days in his shop as a clerk.

For ten years he toiled, and it was only after completing his post-doctorate degree and securing a position as a scientist in the Royal Academy that he found himself in the rare position of having the time and money for leisure. But old habits were hard to break, and his taciturn disposition was not one made for merriment. He was quiet and uncommunicative in the pubs, a shadow against the walls on the dances that his flatmates encouraged him to attend, and he could not suffer the vapid conversation of the few women that were still attracted to his good looks. After several months, he was all but resigned to an arranged marriage, until he heard her laugh, sonorous like a jingle bell, being carried across the room. When his eyes searched for the source, Sesshomaru was struck by the intensity of her azure eyes, the beauty of her face and the delicate shape of her figure, and he fell in a trap of love that less than four years later had left him heartbroken in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cadavers left and right, and with a wife that only had tears for her married lover.


	9. The Painted Veil

They arrived in Paibi shortly after sunset. The boys had left them in front of the humble wood cabin where Mr. Myoga, the British deputy stationed in the customs post, received them with the keys of the front gate, while the servants proceeded to unload the trunks filled with scientific instruments, books and the rest of their belongings. Despite the courtesy of the ad-hoc welcoming committee, the atmosphere was tense and eerie, not improved by the sounds of drums and chants that came from the village. " _Funeral Rites"_ , the deputy explained " _they hope to cast out the bad spirits that are causing disease among them. I hope they spare us as well_ ".

Mr. Myoga was affable and witty, with a charming disposition in frank opposition to his short and ugly countenance. In his administrative efficiency, he quickly gave them a run of the house, that had previously belonged to a family of American missionaries, that quickly perished from cholera. " _Inoculated, all of them. Little good it did them_. _They all died within a week of each other_ ", he said, nonchalantly. Such statements did little to put Kagome at ease. The house was old and dusty, with dishes on the table and rotten food in the cupboards, as if the previous owners had just left the breakfast table instead of being six feet on the ground in a common grave less than half a mile from their front gate.

Sesshomaru had excused himself to dismiss the caravan and the porters. Seeing himself alone with Kagome, the deputy's curiosity was piqued:

"I thought it was an error when I read the telegram saying that you would come as well, Mrs. Nakamura", Myoga said "Frankly, this is no place for a woman. You must really love your husband to come to the midst of a pandemic"

Kagome demurred: "It is only normal for me to support my husband, Mr. Myoga" she said while removing her hat "Still", Myoga said "he should not have brought you here. It is incredibly dangerous here in Paibi, Mrs. Nakamura. People are dropping like flies. Just in case, I have asked the military commander to assign you an escort to keep you company"

"Is that really necessary? - I would feel as if I were a prisoner" Kagome interjected.

"Unfortunately", Myoga continued, "between the nationalists and the cholera, you should not walk around unescorted". Seeing Sesshomaru going up the front steps, Myoga added "Dr. Nakamura, I was just telling your lovely wife about having a proper escort while in town, these are difficult times". Grabbing his hat, he then added "Both of you must be extremely tired after such a difficult journey. Mrs. Nakamura, it is always a pleasure to see a lovely woman in this forgotten end of the world. My good doctor, I will see you in the morning to introduce you to Coronel Bankotsu, as you requested. He can answer the questions you had about the town's water supply better than I ever could. Please have a good night".

After Myoga's departure, Sesshomaru quickly ordered the servants to gather the beddings and mattresses to set them afire. Kagome, in the meanwhile, took note of the empty beds while her eyes and hands went to an old doll, lying forgotten beneath the frame...

"I wouldn't touch that, if I were you" Sesshomaru's hard voice called from the door "they may have died on that bed for all we know, which makes this the most suitable place to call your room, my wife". Leaving her alone in the immensity of that eerie night, only the sounds of the crickets and the distant funeral chants kept her company.


	10. The Painted Veil

After a week they had set up a routine, with Sesshomaru gone from dawn to dusk, tending to the sick in the makeshift hospital located in what remained of a small catholic convent. The extent of the epidemic was far worse than what had been reported to him: during that week at least a dozen people had died under his watch, bodies shriveled in dirty mattresses, dying without hope in their own waste. For a man whose involvement in medicine had always bordered on the theoretical, to face the human tragedy unfolding in front of his eyes had been horrifying. The smell of the ward was nauseating, despite the efforts of the nuns on keeping the floors clean and the buckets empty, and if he did not pass out from the stench was due to the strength of his own pride, already bruised by the jabs of Coronel Bankotsu, who was not amused by the British sending a single, foreign medical doctor to a province that had already lost close to two thousand souls to Cholera.

Despite the setbacks, his first week at Paibi had been productive. The samples that he took from the town's well proved his suspicions correct: the water in it was contaminated. Unfortunately, the obvious solution had met with much resistance from both the town's inhabitants as well as the military garrison. It was after much cajoling that the colonel had agreed to seal the well, earning Sesshomaru the many insults of the townsfolk, who now needed to bring their water from the river's edge, about a quarter of a mile downstream. Less progress had been made in the matter of funerary rites: townspeople often kept the cadavers in small home shrines for days to ensure that they had the necessary rites for a proper passing to the afterlife. Despite the local ordinances instructing the people to incinerate the bodies, they often hid them from the authorities, and it was only after the entire family was sick with Cholera that they asked for help.

Despite the horror and frustrations of his work, Sesshomaru welcomed the challenge, and he spent his days tending to the sick, while on his evenings he gathered data and analyzed samples to evaluate whether the changes imposed on the townspeople had reduced the rate of contagion. It was only when he was heading back to the cabin, that his heart again raged against his cage, filled with so much anger and disappointment - that often he wondered how he managed not to strangle her on that warm, summer night, when her body was underneath him, soft and pliable, but silent, unlike how it was with _him_.

He took a deep breath. ' _This is so unbecoming_ ' he thought. Here he was, in the midst of a pandemic, and he was still thinking about his undeserving whore of a wife.

Said wife was not faring much better. Kagome spent her entire days alone along with the Chinese servant, Mai, who would have been an excellent listener if only she could understand English. Having packed in a hurry, Kagome only had a couple of books and her koto to amuse herself, and often she found herself playing the sad songs that her mother used to sing when her father left for England - never to return. Unfortunately, her thoughts often returned to Kouga, on how her treacherous body missed him, and how callously Falkas had dismissed her love. ' _I am a fool'_ she often thought. She should have known better than to have married a man that could not love, or loving a man that was not free to love her either. Maybe it was her fate, after all, wasn't she but the proverbial bird in a cage?. She had spent her entire life searching for a place where to pour that love that was rotting in her heart, first on her absent father, and later on a lover that tricked her with promises of never-ending love. ' _If only things would have been different that summer two years ago_ ', she thought, but now, all that surrounded her was her koto and that inescapable loneliness.

Her musings were upended when she heard the creak of the front door, only to see Sesshomaru's tall frame entering the room. He seemed surprised to see her waiting for him in the dining room so late at night, and without replying to her quiet hello, he silently took a seat at the end of the table, only to read one of his treatises, as he did every night.

They ate their supper in their customary silence. Kagome did not know whether it was her depression, or her desperate need for company, but she felt her eyes sting and she could not contain herself any longer.

"Is this going to be the rest of our lives, Sesshomaru?" she asked with a quiet voice "are we going to keep ignoring each other every single night?",

Sesshomaru continued to eat, as if she were not present in the room, until she pounded her fists on the table, clattering the china. Unable to ignore her any longer, he placed his book to the side and looked at her with a blank look: "You are assuming that said life is going to be long, Kagome. We are after all, in the midst of a cholera pandemic".

"Have you gone insane, Sesshomaru?" Is that what you wanted? to kill ourselves in the middle of nowhere? To prove God knows what point?" - she asked, altered "I know what I did was wrong, but you have never cared about me, so why do you despise me so?"

Hearing her say those words, Sesshomaru's facade of indifference quickly crumbled. Standing from his chair, his voice resonated, deep as thunder "I despise myself, Kagome. I always knew that you were pampered and stupid and that you only married me to escape your mother, but I loved you once". Taking a breath, he continued "it was my hope that with time, you would come to love me as well, but instead I find my wife spreading her legs to the first excuse of a man that gives her some attention. Had I known I had married a whore I could have gone to Wan Chai and saved myself the aggravation.."

The feel of water on his face ended his tirade, and he only saw the watery, blue eyes of his wife, enraged like a Baltic sea storm: " You knew I did not love you, yet you married me. You wanted me to love you, but you ignored me for years, even when I needed you the most- so don't pin all of this on me, Sesshomaru. If I could not love you, have you ever wondered why that was?". Grabbing her things and heading to her room, she could not help but say "If I am a whore, as you claim, just remember that you were the one that put me in the whorehouse, Sesshomaru".

That night, it was her sobs what kept him awake.


	11. The Painted Veil

He saw her stir, delicate limbs covered in the sheer gauze of her nightgown. It was a cool summer night, and for a moment the sounds of crickets and frogs made him forget the horrors of the day. Though it was still dark, the light of the full moon betrayed her turmoil, long lashes crusty with dry tears.

Sesshomaru wondered, not for the first time, how something so fair could be so cruel. He still remembered the first time he kissed her, on a Sunday evening where her mother conveniently left them a few minutes alone to discuss one thing or another with their servant. He was nervous and jittery, unfamiliar as he was with the etiquette of courting and the realities of love. With effort, he did his best to hide his feelings under his phlegmatic demeanor, and entranced as he was with those cerulean eyes, he softly grabbed her hands with his own, and with resolve, he knelt to make his move:

" _Miss Kagome, I am sure you know by now how fond I am of you. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?"_

He heard her gasp softly, and she saw him, like if for the first time with those huge eyes filled with what he thought was wonder, but in retrospect he now recognized as fear. Letting go of his hands, she quickly put a strand of her hair behind her ear - " _But I barely know you Mr. Nakamura, you cannot expect me to give you a response right now, am I right?,_ she said. Standing quickly, Sesshomaru did his best to hide his disappointment, and with great effort to keep his calm, he said, probably sounding colder than he intended:

-" _I actually do, Miss Kagome. You see, I am departing in six weeks for my appointment in Hong Kong. I was hoping you would join me on my journey. So again" -_ and this time he opened the jewelry box that he was hiding on the lapel of his blazer, " _will you marry me, Kagome?"._

Her mother's sudden presence in the entrance of the parlor quickly made her nod her consent, and with a jerky movement he placed the small sapphire ring in her finger and gave her a quick peck on her lips, supple and warm, like the round hips that now were hiding under the bedding. While her mother gently bowed in front of him and discussed his plans for the wedding, Kagome had plastered a small smile on her face that betrayed nothing of her inner thoughts, while she looked at the small, dainty sapphire ring, as if bewitched by it.

This was not how he had envisioned that moment. ' _But again'_ , he scoffed ' _when has it ever?'._ Their engagement passed in a blur, with her mother and aunt taking over marriage preparations, while Kagome nodded mechanically to their suggestions, and he was at a loss on what to do, unsure on how to act in the presence of people whose affluence and demeanor were so different than his own, and a reluctant bride that showed more enthusiasm for her Koto than for him.

Having decided on a civil ceremony, after their wedding lunch they retired to the small room that he had rented for the night, in the elegant hotel that her mother had gently insisted they held the celebration, even though internally he had fretted about its cost. Financial concerns were left aside as soon as he saw his shy bride enter the room, in the same nightgown that she was wearing tonight, looking at him with those infinite eyes that were so expressive yet so remote. Unable to say anything, he just grabbed her hand and gently sat on the bed, kissing her on the lips, full and supple, still tasting of the strawberry on their wedding cake.

Sesshomaru was a doctor, familiar with illness and disease, yet his life was one that was not one devoted to pleasure. Faced with the reality that was the body of his wife, he turned off the light, and with tender caresses he lost his virginity in the terrified body of his then inexperienced bride. He pressed against her, whispering sweet nothings in her ears, while she _endured_ him...

' _But how did she squeal for him…'_ his treacherous mind said. No matter how much he tried, her wife was always remote, especially after that awful summer.

How he wished he could forget her, to destroy her like she did on that horrible afternoon when his suspicions were confirmed true! Rubbing his temples, and hearing the first crows of the day, he left for his study, ready to face another day of people dying, officers ranting in Chinese about the double of having a Japanese/British interloper meddling in their affairs, and the cries of the orphans squealing in the wards of the convent.


	12. The Painted Veil

Kagome sat on the veranda of the small cottage, trying to catch a breeze and hide from the humid heat of the afternoon. She wanted to focus on her embroidery, and the activity, along with Mai's sweeping of the veranda provided a welcome distraction from the turmoil of her troubled heart.

A knock on the door distracted her from her tribulations, and soon Myoga was greeting her at the veranda, with several packages addressed to her husband, and surprisingly, a letter for her. A quick glance at the handwriting and she could see that it was Falka's, and her treacherous heart gave a leap, as if to leave her chest. Myoga could not help but notice the agitation of the woman when she saw the letter, and in his curiosity, he asked whether she knew him.

Wary, Kagome responded: "Yes, we met Mr. Kouga at some expat events, he is mostly an acquaintance of my husband's from his work at the embassy", tucking the letter on her embroidery basket, she asked " Do you know him?".

"I had the opportunity of meeting the Kouga's at a trade conference. Lovely wife, Mrs. Ayame, am I right?".

"Yes", Kagome said tersely, "they seem to be quite the devoted couple", while her hand fiddled with the letter in the basket.

Myoga chuckled "I would not go as far, Mrs. Nakamura. I barely knew the man, but he was an inveterate flirt!". Seeing her widening eyes, he continued " interestingly enough, Mrs. Kouga seemed quite aware of it. From what she told our group, the only complaint that she had was how consistently common those women were".

It took every effort for Kagome to be able to nod and subtly change the subject past the knot on her throat. When Myoga finally departed after what seemed an infinite amount of time, Kagome quickly went to her room and tore the envelope, only to find a short letter

' _Dear Mrs. Nakamura;_

_I am in awe of your efforts to help Dr. Nakamura combat that dreadful pandemic affecting the natives. To help you in your efforts, I have left you some money at the post office. It goes without saying that if you ever find yourself alone and in need, to please let me know. I will be glad to assist you in every way possible._

_Sincerely_

_Mr. Falkas Kouga'_

It took a paragraph and Myoga's words for Kagome's last hopes to vanish into thin air, and the perfidy of her lover came into full view. Horribly upset, she tore the letter in small pieces and tossed them from the balcony of her room, her rage and despair blinding her eyes with tears.

Paid like a whore, as Sesshomaru said. Maybe she was really common after all.


	13. The Painted Veil

It was past dusk, but Sesshomaru could not leave the small laboratory that he had set up in the west wing of the convent, past the infirmary and the laundry area. Rubbing his temples, he could not help but snort in frustration.

Despite the closure of the well more than a fortnight ago, there had not been a decrease in the number of cases. That day, in particular, had been dreadful, with close of thirty patients in the makeshift ward, and at least four deaths, two of them the young parents of a young boy, that now joined the multitude of orphans populating the rooms of the convent, ready to be baptized and converted, innocent labs slaughtering the beliefs of their ancestors in the altar of a new faith.

Despite the help of the young nuns and his assistant, an affable young man named Miroku, their hours were spent keeping guard around the clock, checking the IV's of the patients and preparing the lifesaving saline that, if the patient was fortunate and strong, could help them survive the acute onslaught of the disease. His young aide was an intelligent and sharp man, with a quick wit and an excellent ability to find a vein in which to insert a line, while the nurses, led by a young local woman called Sango, did their best to keep the ward clean, the patients hydrated and the wailing children safely in place. It was an efficient team, and if the source of the contamination had been controlled, the small makeshift infirmary could have coped, but that was not the case. The ward was bursting at the seams, and the nuns, along with Sesshomaru, had resorted to only admit the patients in the early stages of the disease, while the sicker were left to die. Often, Sesshomaru would see the corpses on the side of the road on his way to the cabin, before they were removed and incinerated by the local militia.

The seventh sample taken that day showed that the patient's water supply was still contaminated, even though they were taking water directly from the river and not the well. This posed a terrible conundrum for Sesshomaru: he had already gained the enmity of the populace by shutting the local well, only to find out that the water still had traces of the pathogen. It was clear that the river was contaminated as well, infecting not only Paibi but possibly multiple villages along the riverbank, and the thought of seeing the pandemic fill not only the province but…

A small "ahem' interrupted his train of thought, and there was Miroku, with a small beaker in his hand and a smile on his face. Seeing Sesshomaru's questioning glance, he just said "It has been a long day, Dr. Nakamura" Grinning, he continued: "Besides, if my uncle Mushin is to be believed, nothing like a glass of gin a day to keep the microbes at bay".

Sesshomaru could not help but smirk at Miroku's attempt at humor and took the glass, the strong, bitter flavor of the gin burning his throat. Miroku laughed when he saw Sesshomaru's eyes tear up, unaccustomed as he was, to drinking. Grabbing another small beaker with gin for himself, he continued,

"This pandemic is a dreadful affair, Dr. Nakamura, but we have to look for all our blessings. I have been saving to go to school, and with some luck, I can probably take the public servant exams" Taking another sip, he chuckled "I am surrounded by beautiful -though unfortunately forbidden young ladies, and we saved that young boy's life, even if we were not able to save his parent's".

Sesshomaru snorted "little good it did, Miroku. An orphan left alone, with no one to care for him. He will become a priest or a nationalist. I am not sure whether to count either option as a blessing"

Miroku laughed "Ahh, but a priest surrounded by lovely maidens, such as our fair Sango - I can think of worse fates!.". Tipsy as he was already, he dared to tease the stoic man, "You, on the other hand, are fortunate, with a lovely woman at your side, daring to go to this God-forsaken place. True love indeed, my good doctor. That deserves a good cheer!".

The alcohol made Miroku miss the icy shield that set on Sesshomaru's gaze, but the doctor accepted another fill of his glass and raised his glass in salute. And then another. By the time he stumbled home, Sesshomaru had forgotten all about decrepit corpses and whorish wives, the alcohol destroying, albeit temporarily, the rot that was slowly killing his heart.


	14. The Painted Veil

Earlier that day, Kagome found herself with absolutely nothing to do, a situation that after almost a month in Paibi was close to making her insane. She had already run out of embroidering supplies, read the few books that she had brought on her trunks, and her fingers -and temperament - were already bruised after playing the Koto far too often.

After her discussion with Sesshomaru, they had reached an unspoken detente: she would eat supper earlier and retire to her room, while her husband arrived well past ten in the evening, only to leave at dusk for the convent. So that left the maid, Mai, to be Kagome's sole companion for the day - but the old woman only knew a few words of English, which was enough to ask for tea or a meal, but not enough to provide any company nor stimulation. Alone for weeks, Kagome was depressed and despondent, almost as bad as when she had left the hospital ward two summers ago, and she wondered, not for the first time, if dying of Cholera was something that at least could offer a change in scenery.

She thought of leaving to the town, of telegraphing her family and return to England - but for what?. She was a fallen woman whose good name and reputation solely rested in the goodwill of a man that despised her. Because Kagome could not believe for the life of her that Sesshomaru was capable of love.

When she married him, Kagome made enormous efforts to build affection for her husband. But it did not come naturally: Sesshomaru was silent and stoic, and the only time that he spoke more than three sentences at a time was when he made a biting remark about her spending or her choice of books. Only when it was dark and warm did Sesshomaru's facade come loose, with tender words and soft kisses peppering her face while he fumbled with their clothes in obscurity.

Maybe that would have been enough, if Kagome had not become pregnant. Sesshomaru had been adamant about birth control, pontificating in the use of pessaries to the utter embarrassment of his wife - or simply withdrawing from her as soon as he was reaching his climax. So when she found herself with child, Sesshomaru was far from pleased. ' _Kagome, this is really not a good time for us to become parents'_ she remembered him saying, a couple of weeks after giving him the news. Other men would be ecstatic about becoming parents, but not her husband. He was a miser and a tightwad, and when she miscarried, midway through her second trimester, his efforts at comforting her felt insincere and hollow. ' _It is for the best, Kagome. We were not ready for a child'_ \- he said one night, while still sore and bleeding on their bed.

Something broke in Kagome when she heard those words, and it dawned on her the magnitude of her loneliness and the cluelessness of her husband. She withdrew on herself, longing for the child that would never be, and avoided Sesshomaru as much as she could, just as he was avoiding her now, hurt by her disloyalty as she was by his callousness.

A commotion on the hallway disturbed her musings, and when she was about to leave her bed to see it, the door opened to reveal a disheveled Sesshomaru. She was about to ignore him but after he stumbled on the small passageway she ran to him, worried about him collapsing -maybe due to illness or exhaustion- but the stench of alcohol quickly dispelled her fears. Annoyed by his drunkenness, Kagome brought him to a stand, but even in the darkness she could not help but make note of his appearance. ' _He looks so tired'_ \- his clothes, normally perfectly pressed, were rumpled, and his fair skin did little to hide the dark circles under his eyes. Grabbing his arm, she dragged him to his bed, and in his alcoholic haze, Kagome thought that she had never seen him so peaceful.


	15. Chapter 15

The pounding on his head was driving him insane, but under the sharp gaze of Coronel Bankotsu, Sesshomaru kept his unflappable facade, knowing that it was foolishness to show any weakness in front of the man. They were traveling upriver, along the banks where the townsfolk were gathering water, to collect samples and determine the source of the outbreak. Under the oppressive heat of the sun, the coronel could not help but seethe in his frustration:

"Dr. Nakamura, this is a waste of time. You have the people walking almost a half a mile to collect water. What do you expect, to walk to Sixincun to get it?".

Sesshomaru did his best not to snort, and with his coldest voice, he said " that would not be the case if you had enforced the order to incinerate the cadavers, coronel. People are hiding them at their homes, and until the militia enforces the health ordinances, we won't know for sure the source of the outbreak"

The colonel looked him right in the eye, and retorted sharply "Do you want us to go against the traditions of our ancestors? That may not be a problem for the British, but here we do have customs, Dr. Nakamura. It is already bad to incinerate the cadavers like dogs - but I bet you would never understand, after all, you British think of us like savages".

"Coronel, I am a man of science. This is not a matter of British nor Japanese traditions - just the fact that people are getting really sick by contaminated water. If we don't contain this, people all over the province will die - and I am sure your men are sick and tired of being undertakers"

Before the colonel could reply, the rowman - almost a child, really- pointed at something on the shore, about 30 meters from the boat. Grabbing his monocular, Sesshomaru gazed at the area, where a bamboo grove gave way to the shore, but he could only see some old rags on the sand. But after his frantic gesticulating, the colonel decided to steer the boat where the boy instructed. It did not take long to see -and smell - the cause of his excitement.

A human foot was peeking out of the water shore. After commanding his men, they soon discovered a graveyard, set alongside the riverside. Despite their degree of decomposition, the hollow cheeks of the cadavers and protruding eyes gave way to their cause of death, Cholera.


	16. Chapter 16

He saw her approach his cabin from his veranda, all dainty feet and cotton dress going about the dirt road that led to his home, and two miles ahead, to Paibi. With a paper umbrella protecting her from the elements, she seemed like a delicate flower scorching under the heat of the early afternoon sun.

The absurdity and rarity of the sight made him wonder. He had not seen Mrs. Nakamura leave her home since they arrived in town, so after three weeks he had dismissed the young cadet that he had requested be posted on their property. ' _Maybe she is going to town?_ ' he wondered, and given the distance to the village, he grabbed his hat to meet her outside and offer her a ride on a nearby sampan, until he heard a blood curdling scream. Racing towards his door and out of his property gate, he saw Mrs. Nakamura sobbing hysterically, after seeing the corpse of a young child, probably about nine years old, crumpled on the side of the road.

Cursing the damn militias that had not picked the corpse, he grabbed her by the arm and into his property, bringing Kagome to the little sitting room that was the coolest place in his house. After seeing the commotion, Chun - God bless her - proceeded to make some chamomile tea, while Myoga tried to soothe Kagome's frazzled nerves.

After a few minutes, both Chun's tea and his calming words and presence helped Mrs. Nakamura settle down. This was the first time she had seen a dead body - and seeing the young, decomposing body of a child was too much for her already frazzled nerves, injured by weeks of loneliness and boredom. Hiccuping, she turned those immense blue eyes and asked him "Did that poor baby die of cholera, Mr. Myoga?".

Clearing his throat, he said "Unfortunately, that is quite likely Mrs. Nakamura. Cholera has created havoc in these provinces, affecting the old and young. The only consolation is that people don't suffer for long. It is a quick though messy death".

"How fast are we talking about, Mr Myoga?" Kagome asked, surprised at her lack of any basic knowledge about the pandemic, much less the illness that it caused.

"By the time they become sick, it is a matter of a couple of days, Mrs. Nakamura. It is a truly awful affair". Putting his cup on the tea table, he continued "If you need to go to town, please message me via Dr. Nakamura. I see him often at the convent when I drop his parcels and bring in his requests for the colonial governor, and can arrange for your security".

Kagome became silent, and turned her attention to the cup of tea in front of her. In a soft voice that did little to hide her discomfort, she said "I was not heading to town, Mr. Myoga. I came to see you". Drawing herself up to face him, she said "I was hoping you had some books to read. I have been without much to do, and I have already gone through what little I have. I wanted to ask you if you would be interested in exchanging books so I have something new to read".

The request made his heart break for the woman in front of him. Her recent tears and puffy eyes did not diminish her loveliness, but it was her tired and sad countenance what brought to the surface the sheer desperation of her request.

"I am not much of a reader, Mrs. Nakamura - unless you have a fondness for custom tax treatises and bureaucratic paperwork" he chuckled, trying to inject a little humor. But after seeing her dejected face, he could not help himself "would you mind if I say something, Mrs. Nakamura?".

A silent nod was all it was needed to ask what was on his mind. "When I saw the telegram saying that you were accompanying your husband, I thought it was sheer madness. I imagined a big, sturdy woman - a fraulein so to speak, ready to rule and set order in this God-forgotten place, ready to banish Cholera out of pure sheer will". Kagome could not help but smile softly at this description.

-"But instead I saw you. You were so frail, and tired and so evidently unhappy"...

-"It was a long journey Mrs. Myoga", Kagome interrupted, averting her eyes

-"But you are unhappy now, Mrs. Nakamura". Seeing her discomfort, he pressed delicately. "When I saw you, I wondered - 'maybe they are madly in love - and she refused to leave his side'..

"A reasonable explanation", Kagome said defensively.

"But the wrong one, Mrs. Nakamura". Gaining some courage, he took the opportunity of her silence to say "Do you know what I have observed?, is that your husband never looks at you. He looks at the walls, at the sick, at the people that work for him. It must be hard for you to be so invisible in such a place".

"He has a lot on his mind" Kagome said softly.

She then sat in silence, looking at her lap. Myoga had some mercy on her, and said "I am sure I can speak with Mother Kaede at the convent to see if they need some help. They are bursting at the seams with young children and maybe having a lovely lady to play with them can prove in handy". Standing up, he grabbed her empty cup "and please feel free to stop by Mrs. Nakamura. My Chun and I are often home, and though we don't have many books, we do have a gramophone with some old records to play. It may not be Schopenhauer but in my opinion Louis Armstrong is as much as a genius".

Kagome, for the first time in weeks, truly smiled.


	17. Chapter 17

Shifting on the chair, she could not help but feel nervous under the sharp gaze of Mother Kaede. She was a small woman - probably in her early sixties - whose wrinkled face and eye patch did little to hide the wisdom and severity of her countenance. Her voice, deep and melodious, resonated in the small and dilapidated room, where broken statues of unknown saints were dressed in the best finery a broke convent in the middle of nowhere could afford.

"Mrs. Nakamura, I must say that I am quite pleased to make the acquaintance of the wife of our good and brave doctor. His work has been truly a gift from God in such dire times. Please.." she pointed to a small tray of pastries in front of her "have a Madeline, Mrs. Nakamura. Sister Sara made them this morning just for you".

"You are so kind, Mother Kaede. Really, you shouldn't have - we know how incredibly busy you are, caring for the children and the sick", said Kagome. "In fact' and she gave a quick look to Mr. Myoga, who was standing by the door, "I was hoping to see if I could be of any assistance to all of you. I can help mop the floors, or help in the infirmary..."

'Nonsense!" said the old woman "The novices take care of the cleaning, and the infirmary is not a place for a lady so young and lovely to see. You already do more than enough my dear, caring for your saint of a husband. I cannot risk you as well. Thank you, but that will not do".

Kagome said, somewhat desperately "Mother, I have been in Paibi for over a month, with absolutely nothing to do. If not the sick, I can help care for the children! I play the Koto and a little piano. I am sure you can use the help".

Mother Kaede was silent for a moment, and Kagome could almost imagine the wheels spinning on her head: "Is Dr. Nakamura aware of your desire, Mr. Nakamura?"

"Of course" Kagome quickly responded. "Please, Mother, I only want to help".

"Such a kind spirit. We truly are blessed for having you both" Standing up, she made a motion to Kagome "Let me show you around, Mrs. Nakamura. Do you want me to call your husband?"

"There is no need, Mother. He must be incredibly busy. Let's not disturb him".

"Very well. Follow me this way, young lady"


	18. Chapter 18

The small alcove on the west wing of the convent offered a little bit of seclusion from the chaos that was the infirmary, a welcome change after six hours of uninterrupted work. He had just finished his small lunch of boiled noodles and vegetables, with a poached egg on top - a local luxury given the resources available at the order.

Sesshomaru could not help but be touched by the small gestures of the nuns and their dedication to the sick, even if he privately despised their efforts to convert and baptize the young children and work the young women to the bone. Life in Paibi was a hard one - one full of poverty and ignorance, and for the many families that were living at the brink of starvation, sending their young daughters to the convent was a better alternative than having an extra mouth to feed. Cholera worsened all things - families were deprived of their breadwinners, farms suffered without no one to tend them - and the solution, which was clean water, was literally being poisoned by the populace, so intent in burying the bodies close to the shore of the river to ensure their passing into the afterlife. That would ensure that all of them did as well.

Boiling water was not a solution except for the most wealthy. The cost of coal would be astronomically high for a town of poor peasants, and the colonial governor's response when he asked for just a cart-wagon of the material to supply them for a month was almost a written laugh. The order had a small well that tested clean, but it was barely enough for the needs of the convent, and solutions such as chlorinating the water were well beyond his expertise. The last thing he needed was to poison an entire village.

He despaired, as he normally did, but did his best to keep his unflappable facade. Showing weakness was a liability with the small garrison, full of men with little education but with an enormous eagerness to use a gun on a foreign man, even if he were the sole medical doctor in hundreds of miles. After dropping his plate at the common kitchen, as he normally did during his break, Sesshomaru made a beeline for the nursery, where the sweet smell of the babies made him forget the stench of the infirmary and their innocent laughs gave him hope for a new day.

Seshomaru heard her before he saw her, when a soft voice ringed, sonorous, in the old stone room:

' _Teru-teru Bozu, Teru Bozu_

_Do make tomorrow a sunny day,_

_Like the sky in a dream sometimes._

_If it's sunny I'll give you a golden bell'_

For a moment, he thought she was an apparition, a goddess with blue cotton dress cooing at the two year old boy who had soon become the favorite of the young nuns, and for the first time in weeks, his heart clenched at something other than rage. He remembered the last time he had heard her sing, round belly sitting in the veranda, trying to convince him to feel the child kicking inside her womb. But he was too worried and stressed to enjoy her pregnancy: he had used most of his savings in setting up their home in a decent home on the outskirts of the peak. The rest was used in helping Inuyasha pay for his trade school - so he could eventually work (and hopefully buy) Totosai's ironworks. His position at the Royal Society paid well - but not enough to maintain a wife and a child in the way she had been accustomed. So when Kagome asked him to feel the baby kick, he did the cowardly thing and demurred.

Seshomaru would never admit it, but he was secretly relieved when she miscarried. ' _Maybe in a couple of years we can have a child'_ he thought back then, and it was too late when he realized that his wife's heart, already reluctant, froze in a glacial storm. He noticed it in the way her body tensed when they made love, in the way that she had stopped asking about his day, and how she simply smiled blankly when in his desperation, he resumed his old tokens of love: flowers for her room, small lemon cakes for her tea, silk ribbons for her hair. She accepted them graciously, with that same bland smile that exasperated him, and he would often see the flowers in the hallway, the servants eating the cakes in the kitchen, and the ribbons unused in her drawer. It was then that he decided to do something that was so uncharacteristic of him, and bought tickets, _for a party_. He sadly chuckled when the thought struck him -' _and see where that got me'._

The sound startled Kagome, and she saw him, tired and wearing an impossibly immaculate doctor's coat at the entrance of the room.

"What do you think you are doing?" - asked Seshomaru, sternly "Why didn't anybody inform me that you were in here?"

"I asked Mr. Myoga to bring me here" she responded, with a slight tone of insolence "and I did not inform you because it is clear that you don't care where I am or what I do, except to go insane in that old cottage".

Sesshomaru did not expect that response and could only hump a response.

"I asked the nuns for a job" - Kagome continued, defensively. "I had nothing to do, and I offered to help care for the babies. Don't worry" - she continued "It seems that I am as useless to them as I am to you, but at least I have made a friend in this God-forsaken place" she smiled at the young boy and tickled his belly -"his name is Shippo".

"His name is inconsequential" - Seshomaru bluntly said, and looking at Kagome's face he immediately regretted it. Changing his tone for a softer one, he said "his parents died on the ward less than a fortnight ago. He is all alone in the world".

Kagome smiled, in ways he had not seen since they were in London, and after holding the child and putting him on her hip, she said: "Well, he is not alone anymore".


	19. Chapter 19

She had gone to the convent daily for the past two weeks, escorted by a young cadet called Lin whose sole job was to be her shadow while around town. He was a young man that could barely be eighteen, with a round and kind face, whose manners were shy and clumsy but seemed competent enough to be given a gun. Normally her trek involved a three hundred yard walk to the makeshift pier where she could take a sampan to town, two miles downriver.

It was a pleasant trip, provided that no corpses were seen on the side of the road. Despite its poverty, Paibi was located in a bucolic setting, with lush bamboo groves bordering the peaceful river, and the small farms along its shores filled with plantings of rice and vegetables. The town, though modest, had a beautiful stone bridge that crossed the river, and the old stone buildings told the story of a richer town that had befallen harsh times. Though harsh may have been too insufficient a word to describe the magnitude of the catastrophe that it was facing.

The impact of cholera struck her from the first day. According to mother Kaede, they had received close to 60 additional young children in the past three months, and their resources and rooms were stretched to the limit. Not only did they have more young mouths to feed, but many nuns, unaccustomed to dealing with the disease, soon fell ill and died, further straining their ability to cope with demand. It took the massive efforts of Sesshomaru to train, isolate and set up the ward to prevent the staff from getting contaminated while tending to the sick - but even though these steps helped reduce the casualties at the convent, the town itself was being pounded by the malady, and the makeshift hospital often had to turn patients at the door.

Kagome quickly realized that she was over her head. She had little experience with children, was unaccustomed to manual labor, and soon the wails of the babies, the projectile vomiting, and the changing of diapers proved to be overwhelming. Thankfully, a young novice named Kanna took pity on her, and with signs and gestures helped her get the hang of bottle feeding and the changing of dirty nappies. Soon, she found out that toddlers were particularly fond of music, and she would play some simple songs on the old piano of the order, clapping and laughing with them -until one day she heard an "hmp" only to see Mother Kaede and her husband on the doorstep.

"My dear, do not stop on my account", Mother Kaede said kindly "both your husband and I were enjoying the sight, though probably a selection that is more sedate will help calm the children". Sesshomaru, on the other hand, looked uncomfortable - almost pained - to be caught looking, and quickly excused himself to go back to the infirmary.

It dawned on her how right Mr. Myoga was - Sesshomaru never saw her - but it was clear that others were far luckier. If the staff was kind and patient with her was all thanks to the efforts of her husband and the never-ending kindness that he supposedly gave to all the people that met him. They waxed poetically about his dedication to the young, whom he often brought fruits and candies after their weekly mass, and his desperate efforts to help the sick in the ward and stop the spread of the illness. Many patients did recover thanks to his efforts, but the casualties were still quite significant, and though the nuns tried their best to shoo her away from the ward, her curiosity one day gave way to its doors.

The first thing that she perceived was the stench and the many sick who were relieving themselves on the strange beds that had a bucket to collect the waste underneath. She was about to vomit until a young man saw her and grabbing her from the elbow took her back to the inner courtyard.

"I assume you are Mrs. Nakamura. I wish we had the chance to meet under better circumstances, but it was clear to me you had lost your way", the dark-haired man said with a broad and kind smile. "It is dangerous for you to enter the ward without suiting up, so when I saw you I had to take you outside". Noticing her grimace, he continued " I bet you were looking for your husband, but Dr. Nakamura went out to meet our local commander".

Breathing deeply, Kagome felt herself heave and puked on the grassy yard. The man laughed softly. "Not bad, Mrs. Nakamura. Others pass out when seeing Cholera for the first time". Bowing, he continued "I am pleased to meet you, Madam. My name is Miroku Shui, and I am your husband's assistant".

The man was pleasant and friendly, with handsome features and wandering eyes that often settled in one of the pretty novices that helped in the ward. Along with Mother Kaede, and the young women that worked in the convent, soon Kagome felt less depressed and despondent. But it was the young boy, Shippo, who brightened her days with his smiles and his ability to spread mischief around the nursery. She often sang lullabies to him, brought him small treats from home, and would mend his clothes at home. She often wondered why she was so attached to the young boy- until it dawned on her that if her baby had lived, it would have been about Shippo's age.

Despite his enormous workload, Sesshomaru knew fully well that avoiding his wife at the convent was impossible, and would bring uncomfortable questions from the mother superior, who often wondered about the state of his immortal soul. So around five, he would pick her up at the nursery, to accompany her to the pier where her escort awaited. And silently, they would go upriver, avoiding each other, while their troubled hearts soothed in the beauty of the setting sun.


	20. Chapter 20

12,751 steps.

That is what took Sesshomaru to reach the wooden water wheel in front of him, past a small hill, and a small cypress grove. The structure, though old, was big enough to carry a decent amount of water, and its location uphill proved convenient to deliver water to Paibi, about three and a half miles down river.

He got wind of the water works after a grateful patient, overjoyed to have recovered to what amounted to a death sentence, told him of a small mill uphill when he overheard Miroku complain about the quality of the local water. ' _Nobody gets sick in Huangyancun'_ he said - but he had come to the village for the wedding of a niece and had gotten violently sick with cholera. He was one of the fortunate ones - his sister and father had perished after just a couple of days. Thankfully, his wife and children remained at their village, tending to their small subsistence farm and managed to avoid the same fate.

So they trekked upriver, following the rough map that contained the instructions that the man had given Miroku, who was far more familiar with the territory. After a couple wrong turns, they managed to get to the site after hiking for an hour at a good pace. Miroku, a man far more gregarious that he would ever be, could not contain his excitement.

"Dr. Nakamura, look at that beauty! This should be big enough to tend the needs of the village - and though it is a little bit far, we have plenty of bamboo at the shore to pipe it down" Taking his hat off and with a big grin, he put his hands on his hips and breathed in. "This is a happy day, my good doctor. I am almost as happy as the day I found out my lovely Sango had not taken her vows".

Sesshomaru could not help but tease: "Miroku, if she could not even make promises to God, what makes you think you have a chance?"

Miroku laughed: "My good looks and my charming personality, of course! After all, what is a man without a good woman at his side? I hope to find one just as fine as yours, Dr. Nakamura!"

Sesshomaru tensed when he heard his wife's name, and abruptly changed the subject. "Miroku, it would be best to cease with the matrimonial talk and let's finish before it gets late". Opening his small doctor's bag, he grabbed a small metallic ladle and proceeded to fill several glass containers with water samples. A little crestfallen at his boss' sudden change in attitude, Miroku proceeded to update the sketch of his makeshift map, making notes of the geographic characteristics of the area.

After their tasks were done, both men walked to the village mostly in silence, except to comment on small alterations of the plans or to check the small cottages that peppered the route for signs of the illness. Miroku walked absorbed in thoughts of a lovely and shy maiden whose strength of character and devotion to service had enamoured him, while his boss, despite his efforts in focusing on the project at hand, could not help have his thoughts stray to Kagome.

He blamed his treacherous heart, one that had refused, repeatedly, to follow the commands of his mind and dignity. Sesshomaru seethed when he remembered his utter foolishness - how he had left work early to cheer his wife with flowers and a walk on the promenade near the harbor, only to find a strange hat on the settee and furious pants coming out of their bedroom door.

Sesshomaru took pride in his decency and honor - and both were trampled by his cheating wife. A shallow, foolish, nonsensical woman, who paradoxically had managed to endear herself to the children at the ward in a matter of a few days, despite not speaking an iota of Chinese. A spoiled princess, but one who had helped clean and care after the children in conditions of abject poverty. A woman with no morals, but one who had the trust of the mother superior - who often praised her graces to him when she stopped by the ward.

He wanted to avoid her, to forget her, but more often than not he would find himself seeing her from afar, hugging the children and doing hand games with them, playing the tattered piano, or hauling water from the convent's well. He marveled about her laugh, clear like the water from the spring, when she carried Shippo and put him on her lap, or when she talked with Sango during their lunch break. Kagome became alive in the midst of such horror, and it broke his heart anew to see that he, as her husband, had never been able to make her happy.


	21. Chapter 21

It had been a hard day at the convent. Sara, one of the nuns, passed away that morning from Cholera, despite the efforts of her husband and his staff to ride her through the acute phase of the illness.

Sister Sara was an older lady - probably in her late fifties, but one who had the love and regard of the nuns. Said appreciation was seen in the tears of Sango, and the sad countenance of Mother Kaede when she announced the news to the nunnery. Now, in the boat taking them upstream to their cabin, the pleasant chirp of the birds nor the burbling of the oars in the river could hide the despair of the man sitting next to her, one that he tried to hide under the pages of a book that he was reading.

Kagome could only wonder how much stress he was under. Sango had mentioned that since their arrival a month and a half ago, almost a hundred patients had died in the ward. This was an improvement: thanks to the efforts and training of Sesshomaru, the mortality rate had decreased to about half, but many patients still died outside the walls of the convent before they could receive medical attention. Miroku had told her of the efforts that her husband was making into securing a clean water source to the village, and the resistance that the populace had with imposed health and safety regulations, particularly regarding burial practices.

They did their best to keep appearances at the convent, but that forced politeness did little to improve things at home. Nevertheless, weeks at the convent only showed Kagome how hard her husband worked to save a village full of poor peasants that had little appreciation or regard for his efforts. She had always thought her husband to be cold and hard - and was surprised to find that underneath that veneer there was kindness - at least towards others. Sesshomaru was reserved but respectful to his staff, compassionate and dedicated to his patients, and kind towards the dozens of children that populated the wards of the convent, often bringing small treats to them when he thought she was not seeing.

If someone had asked Kagome to describe her husband three months ago, she would have not hesitated to describe him as a cold, hard man, conscientious to a fault and a misanthrope of epic proportions. But if her time at Paibi taught her something, it was to reevaluate her assumptions about her husband, because it was clear that under that hard shell he was a good man, one that despite his shortcomings as a husband, deserved more than to be cheated upon by his wife, and that realization filled her with shame.

So taking a deep breath, she hovered a little next to him and asked him "What are you reading?".

Sesshomaru was surprised by her question, but did not bother to look at her, and answered curtly: "I am reading about the spread of Asian cholera in Ceylon"

Kagome leaned to take a look at what he was reading, and pressed amicably "What for?".

Sesshomaru closed the book and sharply looked at her with those golden suns that despite his efforts could not hide their sadness. "Like it could possibly interest you", he scoffed.

"Right". Crestfallen at her husband's disregard for her attempts at conversation, she grabbed an embroidery ring from her bag and resumed sewing. But after a few minutes, and noticing that her husband was looking at the river with a far away look in his face, she pressed:

"They brought in a new baby today - the children named him Bao. It is a cute little thing, probably about six months old. Don't you think it is amazing what the nuns are doing, helping all those children in need, with little help from anybody?".

Sesshomaru retorted "Are they trying to convert you already? Do you know that they baptize the dying on their deathbeds even if they are nonbelievers?".

"Even if they did, what they are doing is very selfless." Grabbing his hand, she said "Just as I think that what you are doing is incredibly noble as well.."

Sesshomaru avoided her eyes, and pulled his hand from hers "I thought you had nothing but contempt for me, don't you still?", his baritone voice cold and hard.

"Sesshomaru! I cannot believe that with all your cleverness, you have such a little sense of proportion. We are not silly little microbes! We are human, are unpredictable, we make mistakes and we disappoint…"

"Yes, you certainly do..."

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru! I am sorry that I am not the perfect young woman you want me to be! I am just ordinary". She sighted, and after a pause, she said softly "I never pretended to be otherwise". Deflated, she tried to focus on her embroidery again, while the rowman, intrigued by her outburst, looked at them from the corner or their eye.

Sesshomaru was surprised by her words, and for a moment, he took stock of his wife, sitting next to him, pretending to sew to avoid his eyes. And it dawned on him how right she was. After a few minutes, he said softly: "You certainly didn't", only to see her surprised blue eyes, looking at him with something that was close to tenderness.

"I am sorry that I am not clever, nor a good wife that can keep house. That is not how I was brought up. I like dances, I like theater, I like games... "

"I can play a mean hand of bridge" Seshoumaru said, amicably

Kagome chuckled, "like that is bloody exciting". Putting her embroidery on her lap, she smiled "I still remember you while on our honeymoon, going on and on about the history of the roman baths, or some nonsense or another. I would have been far happier playing golf instead".

Sesshomaru nodded, and could not help to be amused at her recollection. "I guess you are right". But soon frowning, he said "I guess it was foolish of us to look for qualities in each other that we did not have".

Kagome nodded, melancholy filling both of their hearts "Yes, that seems to be the case".

Both of them looked at the horizon, and Kagome took a leap of faith, and took his hand and put it on her lap. "I am sorry about sister Sara. I know you did your best".

Unable to say anything past the sudden lump on his throat, Sesshomaru only squeezed his hand in response.


	22. Chapter 22

Awake in his bed, Sesshomaru could help but marvel at the miracle that was sleeping next to him. Under the light of the full moon, he was mesmerized by her beauty, from the delicate bones on her hips, to the rosy tips of her bountiful breasts, the rays of moonlight casting a warm glow on the fallen angel that was his wife.

Caressing her shoulder, he would have never thought that such an awful day would end with having Kagome gracing his bed. Sesshomaru's wounds were still too raw and too deep, but as soon as he started to feel the familiar clench in his heart, he remembered Sister Sara's words:

' _Son, remember that there is no worse sin than pride'_

Her kind face and outspoken manner reminded Sesshomaru of his own mother. Tasked with the daily delivery of his lunch, he developed a quick rapport with the nun, who more often than not, jokingly remarked on his aloof manner and workaholic tendencies. When Kagome started to visit the convent, Sister Sara could not help comment on her beauty and mothering qualities - and asked him how come they had not had a child yet. Sesshomaru's tense jaw quickly told the older woman that she had touched a sore subject, but still he responded ' _She had a miscarriage, almost two years ago'._

' _No wonder she seems sad, the poor thing', the nun said. 'I still remember when I lost my son, when he was about a year old' Looking at Sesshomaru's widening eyes, she laughed 'yes, my son, I was married once, to a young lad as handsome as yourself. I lost them both, one to typhus and the other at sea. Though I miss my dear husband deeply, nothing compares to losing a child'._

' _It is not the same' Sesshomaru said 'My wife miscarried well before she reached the sixth month of pregnancy. It is to be expected'._

' _Son, please tell me you did not say that to your wife. That baby was dear to her. He may have not suckled on her breast, nor she heard his cries, but that child moved inside her womb'. Smiling, she said 'it is a good thing that you both are young. With God's grace, you can try again as soon this is over'._

_Sesshomaru prided himself on his stoic manner, but Sister Sara was perceptive when she saw his body tense at the mention of a child. Though they tried to keep appearances, it was clear to Sister Sara -and Mother Kaede- that something was amiss in the young couple. Holding his hand, she said:_

' _I will pray for both of you, my dear doctor. Marriage is a blessing from God, but we are sometimes too human, and too flawed, to appreciate it. Whatever happened, it can be forgiven. Son, remember that there is no worse sin than pride'_

When Kagome held his hand in the sampan, and passionately reminded him of her flaws and her humanity, little did she know that she was echoing the wise words of a woman whose sage advice and comforting words made this horror livable. Sesshomaru was tired, and exhausted of the deaths, of the stench, of the cries of orphans left forever alone in this God-forsaken place under the apathy of a militia that only wanted to play soldiers. He longed for the soothing skin of his wife, to hear words of comfort, even if they were just lies -just to escape for a moment the unseeing eyes of the emaciated corpses that were tossed in the mule cart to be incinerated like dogs.

But he was still too proud. After arriving home, Sesshomaru went as usual to his study - but quickly realized that he would not be able to do much at all. Resigned to a night of fitful sleep, he went to his room, only to see his wife's door ajar. Enraptured, he stood by the door, while the back of her dress opened to show the milky expanse of her back and the soft roundness of her bottom.

Kagome saw him in her mirror, and could not help but notice that his eyes, always so cold and commanding, were now full sadness and longing. Turning to face him, she dropped her dress to the floor -giving him a full view of her breasts and the roundness of her pelvis.

Sesshomaru quickly entered the room and kissed her - like he dreamed of doing since the first time he saw her. He kissed her despite her flaws, despite her lover - at that moment, Sesshomaru just wanted to get lost in her, to believe in the illusion that he was loved- while Kagome, passionately, tenderly, opened his shirt and caressed his skin, soft lips peppering his neck, his ears - to make herself forgiven - to atone the sins against this man whose only flaw was to love her as imperfectly as they were.

He made a move to turn off the light, but Kagome stopped him. Surprised, she smiled at him, and kissed him in the corner of his lips. Grabbing his hands, she guided him throughout her body, and all night Sesshomaru only hoped that his caresses made her forget the touch of her old lover.


	23. Chapter 23

The shuffling in her bed awoke her, only to see the naked figure of her husband, sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at the infinite bamboo groves that extended towards the mountains in the horizon of her window. His eyes were sad and remote, and even his body - normally so strong and graceful - was hunched over, as if carrying the weight of the world. ' _Maybe he is_ ' she thought, and with tenderness, she grabbed his hand.

"Good Morning", she said, with a kind smile on her face. "You woke up early".

With a soft, sad smile that mirrored his soul, he said "Yes, I should stop in town later today to discuss some matters with Miroku and the Coronel". After a pregnant pause, he continued "I will likely see Myoga in the afternoon to arrange your travel back to Hong Kong".

All signs of sleep suddenly left Kagome, and she quickly sat up on the bed, without bothering to cover herself with the blanket "What do you mean, Sesshomaru? Why the sudden change?".

Grabbing her hand again, Sesshomaru chuckled sadly "in my time here, it has dawned on me how I have made you profoundly unhappy. There is no reason for me to have brought you here- I will arrange for your travel back to Hong Kong - and if you are not made a widow after this pandemic comes to pass, I will divorce you quietly, as you wanted".

She was dumbstruck, but her eyes burned her as if on fire, and suddenly the dam burst - all the sadness, the loneliness, the anger that had set rot in her heart suddenly left at the mere idea of leaving this man - her husband - alone facing this neverending horror. Putting his hand on her chest, she sobbed inconsolably, and Sesshomaru brought her to his chest, aware of the fact that it would likely be one of the last times he would ever hold her.

"I am so sorry Sesshomaru. I really did not believe you cared…" she hiccuped between sobs "I felt so alone - and I was a fool to ever think that scoundrel…" Sesshomaru felt his heart break all over again, but still, he soothed her: "It doesn't matter anymore, Kagome. As you said, let's fix this mistake that we created four years ago"

"But this is not fixing it!" Kagome said, " we are just quitting - and if there is something I have learned here, is that life is not easy and we cannot just quit at the first turn". Grabbing his hands, she said, more calmly "the man I married did make me unhappy - because he never saw me, because he never told me what he wanted" Noticing that he avoided her eyes, she cupped his cheek "I don't want to be married to that man. I want to be married to the man that is selfless, that cares for the sick and the villagers, and plays with the children..." and with her voice breaking, she said, "...even if he did not mourn for his own".

Sesshomaru's eyes softened, and pressing his forehead to hers, he said "I am sorry, Kagome. I was a fool.."

"I was more of a fool. I am so sorry Sesshomaru…"

"I know. But the point remains" Drawing apart from her, he said: "This is my life, Kagome. I am just a doctor in the middle of nowhere, without riches nor titles to offer a woman of your station. You can leave and start anew, unencumbered by any of this".

"I am willing to try. God knows that station is meaningless. Incredibly enough I am more happy and content helping the children and the nuns that playing bridge with Mrs. Thompson".

"But will you be happy with me, Kagome?" he asked seriously.

Kissing him on the lips, she said softly "I am willing to try if you are"


	24. The Painted Veil

Sesshomaru never made it to that meeting, entranced with the hope of a new beginning in the arms of his wife. They spent the morning making love, all limbs intertwined, with soft pants and moist lips, that covered the same skin that he only knew in darkness. With an eagerness that he only knew in dreams, his wife's hips welcomed him earnestly, and in the trance of love, both of them found solace.

On the days that followed, they walked, hands linked together to the sanpan that brought them to Paibi and its daily grind of children, malcontent troops and disease. With the soft sounds of the river as company, Kagome discovered that his husband was not only a man of science, interested only in the tangible and concrete, but also a lover of art and poetry - one that could recite Yeats and Byron from memory, his baritone voice murmuring softly in her ear:

" _All things uncomely and broken,_

_all things worn-out and old,_

_The cry of a child by the roadway,_

_the creak of a lumbering cart,_

_The heavy steps of the ploughman,_

_splashing the wintry mould,_

_Are wronging your image that blossoms_

_a rose in the deeps of my heart."_

Stripped bare of all the pretension that colonial society gave them, she listened to his worries and concerns. About how much he detested the apathy of the British, so reluctant to provide for the needs to the small infirmary - unconcerned for the lives that they considered inferior - or how he often worried about his brother, who was young and rash, but also ambitious and hard working. She found out that he was often worried about his ability to provide for her -believing her to be far richer than she was - and that among his dreams was to live in a place where he would not be seen as a foreigner to mistrust as it was in England, nor a Nikkei bound to the mores and prejudices of imperial Japan.

After sister Sara's passing, Kagome gave him his lunch and joined him in the small alcove that was set as his private study. She brought her koto after he reluctantly admitted that it reminded him of more innocent times, in which his mother laughed and his father was healthy and prosperous - before illness took them both and left him and Inuyasha all alone in the world. After the languid notes of the koto lingered in the stone halls, often his lips found her, and her body welcomed him on the desk, pants, and moans muffled in the hollow of his pale neck.

Little by little, Kagome discovered that her husband did not see her, not because he did not want to, but because she had never bothered to do the same. His golden gaze made her soon forget about the azure eyes that had played with her foolish heart, and his touch had a tenderness that could only be mistaken as love. Playing with the children, she twirled in the convent's patio, heart filled with hope for a brand new start until suddenly she felt her knees buckle and her world went black.

_**AN: Thank you for the kudos and reviewing!. It really makes my day!** _


	25. The Painted Veil

It had been an excellent day: first, Myoga had given him a telegram from the royal society with news of a three hundred pound grant to fund the diversion of clean water into Paibi. Second, Coronel Bankotsu finally became useful for something and managed to _convince_ the bamboo merchant to drop his price by at least 30%, after the man greedily raised it when he saw that the British were eager to buy his wares. Lastly, he had a very _enthusiastic_ lovemaking session with his wife that very same morning, finding out that kissing the small birthmark that she had on her pelvis made her moan with abandon, her heart-shaped mouth mewling in pleasure as his kisses went down to her dark curls and folds.

The memory set his face on fire. Walking briskly back to the convent, he could not help to be surprised at his own audacity, so different from his normally phlegmatic behavior. Having been raised in a traditional Japanese home, he knew little about lovemaking, much less about how to pleasure a woman in bed. It was only in Totosai's shop where he indulged his curiosity, crawling in the loft above the shop, looking at the _Shunga_ wood prints that he had smuggled from Totosai's drawer chest. Young and restless, he wondered about the women in the pictures, faces drawn in ecstasy, legs spread while the men explored, sucked and touched parts that he only had seen in the anatomy courses in the school of Medicine.

Britain had been disappointing in terms of pleasure. Still reeling from their Victorian mores, and adding the suspicion that his Japanese ancestry caused among the locals, he withdrew in himself - and his heart, filled with longing, searched for a soft body to curl with and hide from the ever-present loneliness that surrounded him. When he saw Kagome -oh beautiful Kagome, with her prim green and white beaded dress! - he was enamored at first sight. It was only after they began their wedding preparations, that Sesshomaru realized that he did not know what to do with the pelt of the tiger he had killed. Fretting, and with the same diligence that he applied to everything he did, he poured himself in books, eager to find guidance - only to find encyclopedic treatises that pontificated about hysterical women and the wickedness of their pleasure. And when he first saw the terrified eyes of his wife on his wedding night, he did not know what to believe: the sanctimonious ramblings of western medicine or the graphic drawings of his teenage years. Not knowing what to do, he did the easiest thing and made love to her in darkness.

Seeing the roof on the convent, Sesshomaru wondered if he had not set a shadow on his marriage since the beginning. If there was something that he discovered in the last few weeks, in that his wife was far more complex than he had given her credit for, and to his chagrin, he realized that his reasons for marrying her were as shallow as hers. He liked her beauty and her wit, the way the curve of her bosom gave glimpses of the bounty beneath her clothes - but he knew little about her - and he had not bothered to know her in their almost four years of marriage. It was only in hindsight that Sesshomaru realized that his efforts to _educate_ his wife were nothing but efforts in trying to replicate the easy confidence that his own mother had in domestic affairs, and without any intimacy other than the one that they had in bed, said comments were seen by Kagome as patronizing and self-righteous.

In this Kami-forsaken place, he saw Kagome with new eyes. What he mistook as thoughtlessness was nothing but ignorance, encouraged by an absent father that indulged and shielded her from the bleak reality around her. What he thought was snobbishness was nothing but her feeble attempts to create the home that her mother - eager to marry her to a marquis of some sort - had told her every man of station needed. Amazed, he discovered that Kagome was far from the shy virgin that he deflowered in a small victorian hotel near Bath: she was fiery and passionate, and after he let go of his old-fashioned prudishness, he relished on the athleticism of their bodies, who tangled and sweated together like two parts long lost.

In the orphanage, Sesshomaru was amazed at her capacity to care for others - from young Shippo to the nuns that were drawn to the beautiful woman with the pretty laugh - even when she lacked the means to make herself understood by most of the staff. She was light and she was kind, giving herself unreservedly to those that cared to love her with an open heart, and it filled him with shame that he had not given her the same courtesy when bleeding on her bed, she cried alone for their child - one that he did not have the heart to tell him it was a little boy when the doctor met with him when he had finished with the curettage.

Almost tripping with a loose paver stone, his thoughts went back to the previous night, when under the moonlight that filtered in the screens of their room, they conversed about everything and nothing, a soft intimacy that was born after the storm. Touching his chest with her not-so-soft hands, Kagome's melodious voice weaved hopes for the future, and he left himself dream, his heart no longer racing from her betrayal, but by his discovery of the woman that was lying on his side, who was more than the soft body he dreamed while in University, but a companion that filled his heart and his mind with something that he could only describe as love.

It had been a good day indeed. But seeing the worried face of Sango waiting for him at the entrance of the convent, one that he knew was not bound to last. Racing the stone steps towards his study as she directed, the first thing that he saw was Kagome, curled on the cot, sobbing inconsolably in the same bed were weeks ago, Shippo's mother had first be seen with clear signs of Cholera.


	26. The Painted Veil

She was a fool. An utter, inveterate fool. Sobbing relentlessly in the privacy of Sesshomaru's alcove, she curled on the straw cot, longing for the musk of his arms and the comfort of his presence, one that until very recently she had taken for granted.

Now said man was in front of her, trying to get her hands out of her face to examine her, his stoic demeanor doing little to hide the panic in his eyes: " _Please, let me examine you, my love"_ he said, his hands fretting with the locks of his medicine bag, trying to soothe her sobs, terrified of losing her so soon after finding her. Knowing that it was just a matter of time, Kagome hiccuped "I am all right, just a little shaken, that is all".

"Sango mentioned you collapsed, are you exerting yourself in the nursery?" - Sesshomaru asked, panic relieved when he saw that despite her blotchy appearance, she did not appear to have the gaunt hollow cheeks of cholera. Still, he wanted to be cautious. "We should do a culture as well, if you are sick we need to prepare you for an IV and set up this room.."

"It's not cholera", Kagome said softly

"I am sure it's not, we have been careful" - holding her hands, he kissed her forehead "yet it would put me at ease if you get tested"

"I am pregnant, Sesshomaru", she hiccuped, quickly hiding her face with her hands. "I understand if you don't want it"

Shame took precedence over his shock, embarrassed to be reminded of his callous behavior that terrible year. Rubbing her leg, he composed himself and smiled "we are in a better position than we were that time, Kagome". Drawing close to her, he hugged her, smelling the fresh jasmine of her hair "I know that I behaved terribly, but I have always wanted to have a family with you, my love..."

" I am three months along" she interrupted - only to see those golden orbs looking at her with an indefinable expression

"Is it mine?" he could only ask.

"I honestly don't know" she sobbed, and he could not help but feel as if punched. All of a sudden the reality of it all sank in, and Sesshomaru woke up from the dream of love that had ensnared him in the arms of his wife, making him forget of her betrayal. With a cold voice, he could only ask:

"How long have you known?"

"I just realized it today", she said " Last time I was more nauseous, but I have been feeling increasingly tired, and my monthlies have always been irregular when stressed". Closing her eyes, she just shook her head, and with a broken voice, she said "I am so sorry, Sesshomaru…"

"Save it" he said, turning away from her, and the silence that resulted was more oppressive than the revelations that had been uttered. Rubbing his face, he took stock of the reality that he was in: he was in the middle of a cholera pandemic, with a wife that he had welcomed again in his heart only for her to tear it out of his chest. Afraid of his building anger, he did his best to sound calm and collected.

"I think it is best for you to go home early, and rest". Doing a supreme effort to calm himself, he patted her leg, and stood up to head to the ward. "I will call Lin to escort you home. I will stay - I have a lot of pending work to do"

"Don't hide from me, please.." she begged

"Right now, that is the best I can do" Sesshomaru explained, and grabbing his coat, he headed

to the ward, wondering about the irony of falling in love anew with his wife when her womb was filled by her love of another.


	27. The Painted Veil

The day passed in a blur, and he did his best to go through the motions of checking the drip rates of the IV's, directing the nuns to change the beds and examine the patients healthy enough to be released home. It was a small mercy that no one had died that day: the news of Kagome's pregnancy had spread like wildfire in the convent, and it took all the fortitude he had to plaster a fake smile on his face while all the staff gave their good wishes and hopes for the future.

Wanting to delay the inevitable, he walked the road back home, instead of taking his customary sampan, and the soft song of the crickets and the light of the fireflies gave a modicum of peace to his troubled heart. Per the advice of the late sister Sarah, he had ignored his enormous pride and allowed himself the joy of having his wife as he could only dream of, but the news of her pregnancy has tested his resolve and the extent of his forgiveness. One thing is to move past an indiscretion - another, quite different, would be to raise a child that resembled her lover, with that supercilious grin that would forever remind him of her betrayal.

Such were his thoughts until he encountered Myoga while walking past his house, just a few hundred yards away from his own home. Seeing his moody countenance, the man invited him over for a drink, and Sesshomaru, eager to delay his arrival home, accepted. Settled in the dark velvet sofa, the notes of Cole Porter lingered in the room, and both men made idle chat of the political situation in the region and the dangers it posed.

"I expect the situation to deteriorate in a few months, if not sooner, doctor Nakamura. The communists are gaining ground rapidly, and the nationalists are eager to fight back. China is a disaster and it is bound to fail, but if there is a constant among all Chinese, is their hatred of the British", Myoga confided, sipping his scotch "probably not the best place for us to be in, to be honest"

"But we are not British, Myoga" - Sesshomaru interjected

"Worse, we are Japanese - believe me, they are still not over the last war", Myoga chuckled "Not only that, but we also consort with the enemy, without any of its advantages. If the situation deteriorates, I don't see the colonial governor, much less the Japanese embassy doing much for us. To them, we are just a more polite version of the yellow plague they so much despise". Taking a more serious tone, he added " you are a young man with a lovely wife, doctor Nakamura. If I were you, I would use some of your connections to get the first ship back to Tokyo - cholera be damned"

Refilling his scotch, Sesshomaru could not help but ponder: "these people have been abandoned by all, and I do not want to add to their burden. Also..." he took a quick sip of his drink " you are seriously overestimating the value of my connections. Scientists are not known for being social butterflies".

Myoga laughed "you are too modest, my good doctor, after all, not everybody can count among their friends the commercial envoy of the Hungarian embassy as friends..."

Sesshomaru's cold gaze quickly told Myoga that he had inadvertently landed on a landmine, and was on edge when he asked him "whatever gave you that impression, Myoga?".

"He wrote you a few weeks ago - and Mrs. Nakamura said that you were acquaintances.." -only to be interrupted by the scoff of the young man, who then downed the glass with a terrible scowl on his face.

It did not take much for Myoga to put the pieces of the Nakamura marriage together, and his heart broke for the man in front of him. Their formerly lively conversation was halted, and Sesshomaru could only sit with his elbows on his knees and his hands on his face, the three glasses of scotch doing little to conceal the turmoil of his temper.

Taking a risk, Myoga said: "if it's of any importance, Mr. Kouga has not received any reply from your household" - only to see the hopeful, golden eyes of the man, too drunk to conceal his heart.

"Doctor Nakamura - can I call you Sesshomaru?" - to his silent nod, he continued "when I heard that you were acquainted, I could not see what would have made you friends with such a man. He is a charming and smart man, but one that is not above cheating and lying to get his way. I could not see how a man of your stature would mingle with him, no matter his position"

"We are not acquaintances, far from it", Sesshomaru tersely said.

"I am glad to hear it. But I am afraid for your lovely wife" - clearing his throat, he continued " Falkas Kouga's reputation precedes him. When he was posted in Paris, he barely escaped with his life after being drawn into a duel. Not only that, but his paramour committed suicide a few weeks after his departure - a terrible affair that rocked our little society for the good part of a year. How his wife puts up with him is anyone's guess, to be honest".

"Such is the nature of love, Myoga, to make fools out of ourselves," Sesshomaru said bitterly.

Finding nothing better to say, both men nursed their drinks in silence, while the moonless night closed around them.


	28. The Painted Veil

It was well past ten when he arrived home, feeling his familiar weight on his side of the bed. Even though she had been almost asleep, Kagome could not help but notice that he had a faint stink of alcohol and when she turned to look at him, his eyes were wary and tired. Grabbing his hand, she said "I am glad you came back home, Sesshomaru"

"Kagome…"

Sitting up, "Just listen. I understand if you don't want me, if you don't want it. But don't ask me to lose him…"

Sesshomaru looked at her seriously: "I would never ask that from you Kagome. I know how important this is for you" but sitting straighter, he continued "These past few weeks have been the happiest of my life, but they were built in lies and deceit. If we want to move forward, I need the truth: have you been in contact with Falkas Kouga?"

"How did you know?" - Kagome asked, surprised

"Just yes or no, it is a simple question", he pressed

"No!"- Kagome, exclaimed "of course not!. He wrote me months ago, with a very insulting proposition to be his mistress, tucked God knows where". Tearing up, she said " I know I was a fool, and a stupid one at that, Sesshomaru" - Looking at him, "Only an idiot would mistake as love what he offered".

"Did you seduce him? How often did you see him?" - Sesshomaru asked, trying hard to keep his voice calm, even though the alcohol made him raw and tense.

Seeing his dejected countenance, Kagome unburdened herself. Of how one day, about a week after the Lunar New Year celebration, she received an invitation for tea at the Kouga's mansion, only to see that the mistress was indisposed and finding the charming Mr. Kouga profusely apologizing for their lack of advance notice. Of how he charmingly walked her throughout the gardens, commenting on her wit and taste, and remarking on the beautiful children she would likely have. About how his attentions suddenly took a turn for the flirtatious, and then, to the personal, confiding in the challenges of his position, and how alone he felt, given his wife's dedication to her role as a socialite and mother.

Kagome, fresh of reading " _Tender is the night_ " could not help but to sympathize with Kouga - trapped, like her, in a loveless and cold marriage, and said appreciation gained steam when she started receiving small gifts: a handkerchief that replaced the one she had stained when he had spilled tea on the table, a set of embroidered silk gloves (his apology for the accident!) and finally, a small glass vial for perfume with a beautiful peacock crystal stopper- something that deeply touched her, as she had mentioned in passing that it was her favorite animal.

One day she received a postcard from Saigon, in which he asked for her permission to write to her, and she could no longer blind herself to his intentions. She demurred for weeks, until one day, fresh from an argument with Sesshomaru, in which he bitterly complained about her profligacy, she sent Kouga a small missive with polite entreaties, which quickly took a confessional tone. They bonded in their loneliness, with Kouga often remaking: ' _if you were to be my wife, I would cherish every moment with you. To treat you with indifference is such foolishness'._

Having her feelings validated, what initially started as curiosity, transitioned into friendship, and eventually, a steamy epistolar love affair. By the time they met for the first time, she was madly in love with him, so much that she could ignore the humid and dark room in which they met, his receding hairline, and the fact that they both were still, very married. They met every week for almost four months, rejoicing in the intimacy of shared secrets and confidences, until that summer day in which they were found out while lounging in the warm afternoon sun.

Sesshomaru listened impassively, quickly realizing that his very young wife had no chance to resist the pull of an intent, experienced Casanova almost 15 years her senior, and how his own behavior towards his wife did little to inspire her loyalty, much less her love. So absorbed he was in his thoughts, that he almost missed her question:

"Why didn't you open the door, Sesshomaru? Why did you not thrash him, even a little?", she said, blue eyes framed with wet, long lashes.

"He was not worth it, Kagome", he said, grabbing her chin, and wiping with his thumb her fresh tears.

" I am so sorry, Sesshomaru. Believe it or not, it was not my intention to hurt you. I honestly thought you cared little for me, and just needed a wife, like Jane Eyre was to John Rivers".

Sesshomaru smiled: "Haven't I always said that life is not like in a romantic novel, Kagome?" Sighing, he admitted "But how could you know otherwise?. I am not an expressive man, that is for sure".

Kagome smiled through her tears "You certainly aren't, but you have your own especially endearing qualities"

They laughed, tension relieved. Sesshomaru examined her vitals just to be sure of her health, and was glad to see that despite being a little pale, Kagome seemed to be in excellent health. Putting his instruments in his small doctor's case, Sessomaru said " Myoga told me that the political situation is worsening. He advised you leave for Hong Kong"

Kagome said "I can't possibly leave the children, much less you. How is the aqueduct coming along?"

"We have procured the materials and the workers, and they started work this week. With luck they will complete the project in a fortnight, and if Coronel Bakotsu finally follows the quarantine mandates in town, we should be able to see a significant decrease in cases in about six weeks"

"I would rather not travel in this stage of the pregnancy" Kagome said "I would feel more safe travelling at the beginning of my second trimester".

A sudden silence filled the room, until Sesshomaru said softly "Kagome…"

Startled blue eyes broke into a smile when he said "It doesn't matter to me who the father is. Stay with me, please"

A warm embrace, and soft kisses peppering his face was all the answer that he needed.

_**AN: Thank you dearies, for your comments and kudos. Elohiniar, you are living proof that good, old-fashioned bribing is the best incentive to write. Cheers!** _


	29. The Painted Veil

The shouts of the workers could be heard all the way to the watermill, where they were laying the wooden supports that would bring the water almost four miles down, to Paibi. Though his Chinese was fairly good, Sesshomaru sometimes had difficulties understanding the local dialect, and that made it challenging for him to give additional instructions to the workers, who were struggling at securing the posts in the rocky terrain. Thankfully, an elderly and fastidious local man called Jaken volunteered to act both as a translator and foreman after he survived his bout of cholera while in Sesshomaru's care. Said help, though extremely solicitous, came in handy, as the man had significant experience assembling scaffolding and building straw huts.

This was extremely welcome help, as both the weather and the pandemic were not cooperating with the timeline. It had rained to the point of flood in the past month, and that derailed the start of the project by at least two weeks. The overflowing latrines did the rest: after a small reprieve in cases, patients were now coming in higher numbers, and the infirmary was bursting at the seams again. Thankfully, the funds of the grant were enough to source additional equipment for fluid replacement, but with Sango and her brother sick, his resources were stretched to the limit.

Miroku's quick response was the key to having both patients on the mend, though both were sent home to recuperate for at least two weeks. That left him quite understaffed, dealing with a rush of patients too sick but to waste in a bed for days until they died or recovered. Even the Colonel's family was not spared: six of his siblings fell ill, though luckily only the eldest, a toady man called Mukotsu, did not survive the disease. Given his lecherous tendencies, and the harassment that even while sick he inflicted on the poor nuns, Sesshomaru was surprised that the nurses still cared for him as well as they did until his passing. Truly an act of faith.

It was a blessing in disguise: that close brush with death brought home to the colonel the seriousness of cholera, and the man finally began to enforce the health ordinances that Sesshomaru had written. Corpses were exhumed and incinerated, people were directed to the areas of the river that tested clean, even though they were at least three-quarters of a mile away. The populace, who was upset at the closing of the local well, became furious, even if many of them were saved at the hands of Sesshomaru's and the convent's staff. Posters calling for the ouster of the "Japanese/British invaders" started to pop around the convent, and Sesshomaru, already stressed about the outbreak and the delays, began making plans in earnest to have Kagome sent back to Hong Kong.

Not that she would hear any of it. She came every day to the nursery, and sang and played with the children, so starved for love in a place devoid of it. Sometimes he would come to his office and find her curled sleeping with young Shippo, pouty lips framed with long dark locks, that he caressed, amazed to see her so at peace in the midst of such madness. At dusk, they sailed and talked in their sampan under the watchful eye of Lin, and at night, they made love, patiently and slowly, so different from their frantic liaisons in the alcove that was his office.

So if providence gave him some reprieve, soon the aqueduct would be completed, and with it, the disease would end as well, helped both by clean water and good hygiene. Miroku was back on the ward, ecstatic that his nursing secured him the love of the woman that had enchanted his heart, and even Sesshomaru, who was despondent for the delays and the populace's unrest started to have some hope, especially after Kagome called him hurriedly during her bath only to feel for the first time the shifting of his baby in her womb. With luck, he would soon be back in Hong Kong, eager to start anew somewhere else, far away from past lovers and colonial overlords in the company of his wife and child.

Such were his thoughts, until the hurried steps and worried voice of Myoga startled him:

" _Doctor Nakamura, there is an uprising against the British in Shanghai. Soon there will be chaos"_


	30. Chapter 30

Sesshomaru ran through rice fields and bamboo groves, feet hurting under uncomfortable leather soles, and his chest puffed and panted in his desperation to reach the convent, where Kagome had been since early morning to help care for the orphans. The worried voice of Myoga still resonated in his mind " _There are rumors of Nationalists shooting foreigners in Hangji, Dr. Nakamura. It would do us well to go back to the convent - they would never dare to attack the nuns, half the town owes their lives to them_ ". Knowing Kagome's routine, he knew that she was about to depart home at dusk, and since Myoga came directly from the telegraph to give the news to the colonel and him, Sesshomaru knew that no one in the convent was made aware of the uprising, so he ran, desperate to warn his wife and the staff of the impending danger.

The dilapidated roof of the bell tower told him that he was reaching his destination, and in his eagerness, Sesshomaru failed to notice that he was being followed. Only when he saw the men blocking the alleyway that headed to the Southward entrance of the building did he realize that he had fallen into a trap, filled with burly, sullen men armed with axes and poles.

The first hit on his nose was the most painful, but it was the following kick on his stomach that left him without air. The stick that hit his side he was sure had broken a rib, but it was the stab wound on his shoulder and the subsequent bleeding that made him dizzy and confused. By the time the men began to kick him and beat him he was already losing consciousness and gasping for air until a gunshot pierced the night sky and his world went black.


	31. Chapter 31

Kagome rushed to the hallway when she heard the frantic steps on the hallway, only to gasp when she saw Lin - her silent and gentle giant of a guard- carrying the bloodied and battered figure of her husband onto the steps leading to his office. Miroku was pressing a blood-soaked rag on Sesshomaru's shoulder -trying to alleviate the bleeding, and his normally placid and friendly countenance was completely changed, frowned eyes and loud voice yelling one thing or another in Chinese to the nurses, who hurriedly began grabbing supplies and taking them to the alcove. As fast as her pregnant belly allowed her, Kagome tried to follow, only to be detained by the old but strong hands of Mother Kaede:

"Calm down first, my child, Dr. Nakamura is in good hands"

"What happened? I need to see him!" said Kagome, doing her best not to panic."Did he have an accident?"

"It seems he was attacked by some bandits", said Mother Kaede: "Luckily Lin heard the commotion and quickly brought him help", grabbing Kagome's hands, she continued "I won't lie to you, he seems badly wounded, but let's have faith in God, that he will protect one of his beloved children".

The hours passed slowly, and she could only see the nuns, leaving and entering the room with fresh bandages and sad and sour faces. She wanted to scream and hit, but she knew that in the alcove she would only be a distraction, and she only had the soft murmurs of prayers from Mother Kaede and the older nuns to keep her company. Thankfully, soon Myoga and the colonel came with news.

It turns out that the British had shot down some protesters in Shanghai, and as a result, uprisings against foreigners - particularly the British - were taking part all over China, as news of the event spread like wildfire. Kagome could not help but feel bitter when she heard that all of Sesshomaru's efforts to contain the disease have gained him the enmity of the populace, who quickly targeted him when the opportunity struck. After news of the attack spread, the Colonel had quickly gathered his garrison and soon apprehended the men responsible. With a cold sweat in her spine, Kagome realized that the shots that she heard at the distance were the result of their quick execution.

It was almost dawn when Miroku came, bloodied and tired from the alcove, with a sad expression in his face, to give her an update on her husband's condition. Kagome felt eerily calm when Miroku gave her his diagnosis:

"Mrs. Nakamura, we did the best we could. He was badly beaten and received at least one deep stab wound on his left shoulder. What worries me is that he is having quite a bit of trouble breathing, and I fear he may have a perforated lung. I did my best to stabilize him, but I am no doctor, Mrs. Nakamura" - Miroku soon could not help but sob, only to say: "I am hoping that we can keep him stable until Dr. Jinenji comes from Qingyang. I am so sorry, Mrs. Nakamura"

"Can I see him?" said Kagome with a soft voice.

"Yes, you can. I gave him some laudanum to alleviate the pain, and that has made him sleep, but the effect may be wearing off soon". "Please" Miroku continued, "I need you to be calm and collected when you see him, Mrs. Nakamura - they really did a number on him. In your state, we want to keep the little one safe too, right?", he said with a soft smile.

Kagome nodded, and quickly entered the room, only to see her eyes burst into tears when he saw the horribly bruised and injured face of her husband, who even sedated, grimaced from the pain. His right eye was swollen shut, and his beautiful face was full of stitches, where those awful men had carved two red, angry lines on each one of his cheeks.

She sat next to him, and crying, she kissed his hands, full of cuts and bruises - likely made in an effort to shield himself, and the realization that he was attacked in his efforts to protect her and her little one made her sob desperately. She kissed his temple, only to find out that he was burning up, and quickly, Kagome grabbed a basin filled with fresh, already boiled water, and put cold compresses on his temple and his chest, cleaning him, caring for him, until she felt him stir, and his soft baritone voice was almost a wheeze when he said: "Please, my love, don't cry".

"You are awake!, please love, don't exert yourself. You need to get better", she hiccuped "Colonel Bankotsu is bringing a doctor from the city, he must be here by tomorrow afternoon. You need to be strong..."

"Kagome", he whispered, "Listen to me, I am not going to make it…"

"Don't say such words, please, we need you, I need you", she cried, her blue round eyes filled with pain.

" I am drowning, Kagome" he said, tearing up, "please, forgive me…"

Kagome was dumbfounded: "forgive you? There is nothing to forgive my love" Kissing his temple, she said, "I love you, Sesshomaru. Please don't leave us, please".

Sesshomaru was in a world of pain, and he felt at the verge of collapse, but he still found the strength to smile and caress her pregnant belly only to gasp: " _Please take good care of our boys, my love"_ , and it was Kagome's scream for Miroku the last thing Sesshomaru heard when he fell into darkness.


	32. The Painted Veil

_London, Five years later…_

It was a fine spring day, the morning drizzle giving way to the warm rays of sunshine that made it possible to wear a light linen suit in London during the middle of April. He was on his way to the East India Club for lunch with an associate when a fine figure in a flowered silk dress woke him from his ruminations. He could recognize the curve of her hips anywhere, and Falkas Kouga wondered -not for the first time- whether said hips still moved as frenetically as they did during their throes of passion in that old room in Hong Kong.

She was so beautiful, even with her wild, dark hair pinned primly in a side bun and covered with a blush pink hat. Hurrying his steps, he almost startled her when he called her name: "Kagome, is that you?"

When Kagome heard her name, she quickly turned around, only to wish that she didn't. Time had not been kind to her former lover - and looking at him, an elegant, but grizzled middle-aged man with an oversize built well hidden in an expensive and well-tailored suit, she could not help but wonder how on earth had she fallen in that old spell of love that almost destroyed her. Doing her best to regain her composure, she said in the most polite and cold voice she could muster: "Mr. Kouga, what a surprise".

Looking at her appreciatively, he smiled: "Surprise indeed, Kagome. What on earth are you doing in London?. Such a small world this is". Noticing the uncomfortable silence, Kouga changed tactics and somberly he said: "It's been a long time, Kagome. I should have written sooner, as soon as I heard what had happened…"

Kagome could not curse her luck any more when she felt a tug on her hand, and her daughter's small voice asking "mommy?", only to see that awful man's eyes wander to the child that she had discreetly shielded behind her. Crouching over to the child's level, Falkas eyed the young child, and sweetly, he asked: "What a beautiful child you are, little one. What is your name?"

"My name is Rin!", a hazel eyed, black haired girl said exuberantly, and the man did not miss how her mother did her best to hide her from him. The child could not have been older than six, and Kagome's apprehension soon turned the wheels on his head. Making a move to shake her hand, Falkas said amiably "Nice to meet you Rin, I am…"

"I am sure you are in a hurry, Mr. Kouga" Kagome interrupted, almost severely. "Rin, dear, we need to leave soon, remember?". The child's smile soon faltered, replaced with a chastened look in her innocent face.

"It is always lovely to see you Kagome," he said seductively. "I will be in London for six weeks, perhaps we could meet.."

"Goodbye, Mr. Kouga", Kagome interrupted, and her manners, though polite, left no room for disagreement. With a small nod of her head, she turned around, hurrying her steps away from St. James Square and from that man that so thoughtlessly and selfishly tried to encroach himself in her life. Only when the sign of Hatchars was visible did she finally relax, just to notice that her child was almost out of breath, such was her hurry to get away. Sitting on a bench, she grabbed Rin and sat her on her lap, only for her little one to ask:

"Mommy, who was that man?"

With a soft smile, Kagome said: "no one important, my dear"

_**AN: And we are almost done! just one chapter left! Thank you my dearies for all your reviews and kudos. If you like it, please R &R!.** _


	33. Chapter 33

Sitting at the deck of the _Amazonie_ , Kagome marveled at the sight of the enormous Carranza lighthouse, with its yellow wash and old clay tile roof, that somehow resembled the old _minka_ homes that were so common in old Kyoto. The warm sea air filled her lungs, with its salty tinge that always brought memories of distant ports and cities, when the sudden shouts in Spanish at the distance reminded her that they were far from the Europe and Asia of her youth.

After almost three weeks of sea travel, they were close to reaching their destination. Nassau had been nothing but a small, provincial town, but at least it provided a welcome respite from almost two weeks of sea travel, and both Shippo and Rin welcomed the opportunity to frolic in its turquoise waters. Now they were almost done with the last leg of their transatlantic journey, and the shores of Veracruz could easily be seen in the distance.

Clasping his hand, it was difficult to hide the excitement and the nervousness that this new step brought to all of them. Shippo was almost eight, a mass of reddish tinged hair and a playful and mischievous temperament that was the bane of Miroku's existence, while Rin, with her sweet and happy disposition provided a much welcome respite from their antics. It was such a different life than anything she could have imagined when a shy, introverted man suddenly went to his knees and asked her to marry him.

"You seem pensive my dear", he said "I am sure that we will find the porters at the shore, there is no need to worry"

Kagome smiled at him, and with her free hand she caressed his scarred cheeks, that he self-consciously hid over long bangs and wide hats. She could never stop being amazed when she saw him breathe, and talk and smile, so far from the broken figure that was drowning under the strain of his collapsed lung back in Paibi. It was Miroku's quick thinking that did not make her a widow at 25, quickly inserting a metal straw on his right lung - allowing him to breathe until Dr. Jinenji arrived the next day. It was their precious care that allowed Sesshomari to recover and heal, the silver cane and the twin scars on his face the only reminders of such a tragic time.

At the end, they spent close to a year in Paibi, during which her husband not only recovered from his injuries, but also completed his aqueduct, that alongside Coronel Bankotsu's efforts, finally brought an end to the pandemic in the province. On a crisp day of February, Kagome gave birth to an angry and healthy baby in the same ward that just a few months earlier was nothing but a source of despair, and it was her husband's enamored eyes that told her that it would not matter who sired their baby, because Rin was _his_ child.

Looking at the blue sea, Sesshomaru on the other hand fretted - thinking if his hot-headed brother would make good on his promise of sending a coach to Veracruz for their final trip to Cuernavaca. He never thought that he would ever visit the Americas, much less live in them, but the last few years had seen a rise in the rhetoric of the Japanese and European media, and war drums were raging all over both continents. Inuyasha had noticed the same thing, and quickly sold the ironworks at a tidy profit, and set sail to Mexico with his wife, Kikyo. _``The only place we are not second-class citizens, brother"_ he joked in his letters, and after the last bypassed promotion from the Royal society, Sesshomaru realized that his japanese ancestry and his mangled looks would ever pose a terrible burden in their lives and their chances to make do in Europe. Thankfully, the Mexican government was in dire need of trained physicians, and he was offered a cushy government position as head of their epidemiology department, which gave him the added benefit of being in the same city where his only living relative was thriving - making comales and shinto knives.

It was a new start, and a far easier one than the one they had in a small, forgotten town somewhere in the Hunan province. Looking at the smiling face of her wife, he grabbed her hand and gave it a kiss, while Kagome quickly cuddled next to him as much as decency and her pregnant belly allowed. Recriminations and resentments long forgotten, forgiveness only gave way to love.

Even though he was an avowed atheist, Sesshomaru could not help but send a prayer for sister Sara, the person that made such a miracle possible.

_**END** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it ends! I actually reviewed and researched quite a bit for this ending, as in fact, Japanese emigration to Mexico was actually a thing and one of the few places in which they were not severely discriminated nor persecuted, especially during WW2. If I make a happy ending, let's make one that lasts!
> 
> Again, thank you all for your reviews, support and prodding which made this journey possible.


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